To Kiss Kate

4. the end

Katiya Carpenter:

The last day of high school approached quickly. The weekend was long, and I was exhausted at work after the party. Monday had passed uneventfully, and Tuesday, the last day, had finally come. We were spending all of our classes reviewing, so I didn't waste my time going to them. Like all the other seniors, I was outside in the parking lot. We spent the day outside, just hanging out. I heard Jason yell my  name and I looked up just as he got to me with a wide smile.

"Hey." I smiled back, not as wide. "Last day party at Jerrad's tonight?" He asked, sitting next to me on the back of Hendricks' truck. The parking lot was full of kids playing Kan-Jam and other yard games.

"No.. I have a final tomorrow morning. Remember?" I rolled my eyes a little, enough for him to notice. He tossled my hair and groaned. "Besides, after last weekend, I think you should relax on the partying for a while." I said passively. I was still pissed about the fight. He was such a fighter for absolutely stupid reasons. Everytime. Yet everytime I let him talk me into forgiveness. He was on extremely thin ice at this point, and it was cracked. The ice was going to break at any time, I could feel it.

"We never get to do anything fun." As if on demand, the ice broke. I looked at him, confused. I thought of before, when we would spend every moment together. When he would've offered to study with me instantly, when he would've begged me to go out with him. When he wanted me, and not just us. I knew things were different. It had to end. I pushed off my back of the truck bed and stood up.

"You can still go.. I'm not stopping you." I said with a little bit of attitude.

"No, it's okay. I'll come over and help study." He smiled and bumped my shoulder with his.

"Go out, Jason. Really. I don't mind." His eyebrows furrowed.

"I want to hang out with you, though." His eyes looked almost sad, and it made me sad.

"I don't think I can do this anymore, Jason. I'm sorry, it's just.. it's not the same." He seemed to look at me in disbelief. He froze as I spoke, nobody else seemed to notice.

"Katie, please. Come on, it's only been-" I cut him off.

"Months. It's been months. Nothing is better, Jason. I'm sorry." He pressed his lips together and looked around at all of our friends. I thought of when we were kids, seventh grade school dance, when he kissed me on the lips for the first time and I was so excited I told all of my friends, and by the next day everyone knew.  I had been embarrassed, and I knew that's how he felt now.

"I'm sorry. This isn't the place for this. I just had to let it out." His lips upturned a little bit.

"No, I understand, Kate. You're the best. Promise." He attempted to give me a smile, but it just made me sad.

"I'm sorry, Jason." I repeated myself, looking around for a friend to escape to.

"Don't be. This is my fault to begin with, I hurt you." I nodded and took a step back, knowing he was right and not wanting to encourage otherwise. My heart was beating fast and I turned to walk towards Genny. She was playing corn hole with a few guys.

"Hey!" She yelled to me from a distance.

"I just ended things with Jason." I said as I got closer. Her head snapped back to look at me, and so did the guys she was playing with.

"Oh, no. I'm so sorry, Kate." She took a step forward to give me a hug.

"No, it's what I needed to do. I'm fine." She released me slowly, not breaking eye contact. She seemed a bit uneasy at the information I was telling her.