3. Family (A TFP Fanfiction)

Chapter 1

Taylor

My breath came out heavy and thick as I panted harshly, my eyes lazily half open and my body shaking slightly as I sat there limply. Intense pain was throbbing from my upper arm, but my spark was what hurt the most. My eyes slowly glanced over to where it was pulsing dimly; the way it looked worried me. It had hardly any color at all anymore, and it's pulse was weak. This made my heart seem like it had to work double time, and sometimes it beat so hard I would pass out. My breath hitched as a harsh shiver enveloped my body, disappearing just as quickly as it had come. When my vision became clear again, I turned my head over to the huge Decepticon hovering over me. His cold, monotone gaze scanned over me for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. A thin, cold digit reached out and jabbed at my spark chamber. Another spout of pain shot up my body as the chamber closed, to which Shockwave seemed satisfied with as he straightened. 

"It seems my prediction is proving correct," he said as he turned around, going back to the monitors and reading the results of several scans. "Your spark is failing."

Despite the fact that I had heard this several times before now, it still made me stiffen and hug myself in fear when he said it. I had known something was wrong; I couldn't transform anymore, and my spark had been aching and throbbing for some time now. It had grown worse through time, but I had never imagined it would have been this bad. Honestly, at this point, I don't know why I hadn't expected it. Things just had to get worse and worse for me. 

Pain and memories flashed in my mind and I squeezed my eyes shut. This was so much like the MECH kidnappings it was terrifying. Not only was I an experiment once more, but this time I was in the hands of someone nearly twice as worse. Whereas Silas had been cruel, commanding, and malicious, Shockwave was cold, monotone, and uncaring. It was a thousand times worse to me; it proved that not a sliver of his being cared what would happen to me at all unless it affected his work. I was a tool that he could abuse however much he wanted to get results. 

It was enough to take nearly all hope away. Time was hard to catch at a time like this. I could only guess that it had been at least a few days. It felt like longer, so much longer. At each passing moment, it was harder and harder to grasp the little hope for a rescue and happy ending that there was left. Every time I tried, it seemed to get slimmer and slimmer. I told myself that I had to remain strong; I could still feel Ratchet's pain on the other side. Thanks, but not to much thanks, to the ever informed Shockwave, who had informed me about a lot of things on sparks, I now knew that I somehow had a smaller scale of "spark bond" with my guardian. I also knew from Ratchet that most spark bonds meant that those who shared the bond were "conjux endura". Which basically meant married in their language. That had sent me into a flutter; Ratchet and I were in no way married, or even together. I probably was the only one that had feelings for the other. And I knew that most of the time there had to be special circumstances for a spark to be bonded. Shockwave had told me that they exchanged spark shards, and when they melded together, the bond was created.

I knew for a fact that Ratchet and I had done nothing of the sort. 

Then, last night, he had felt me, too. Not only that, he had sent calming waves through sparks somehow. My entire body had completely relaxed that night, and never in my life had I felt more comforted than in that moment. It was hard, and I tried my best, but I hopefully sent similar feelings back. It was a great relief to know that he was alive; maybe the others were, too. Maybe the Decepticons were wrong, and were soon going to bet that shoved in their faceplates.

Maybe there was still hope. 

"The human beings that gave this to you obviously wasn't well enough informed of how serious a spark surgery is," Shockwave growled, poking my arm again and snapping me out of my haze. "I believe that was Starscream. I wonder if he also stole the spark from a Vehicon."

Well, that would fit into the time he stole me and Ratchet away to MECH. I glanced away from his hard gaze and looked at the berth below, where a mix of blood and Energon stains stared back at me. I gulped and swallowed what felt like hard film in my mouth, reaching up and subconsciously touching my spark chamber. Again, another memory of my previous kidnappings flew into my head. I tried to shake them away, clutching my head with my other hand and bringing my knees to my chest despite the pain. A noise of pain and despair bubbled out from deep inside of my chest as I closed my eyes tightly and began to shake. My heart was beating faster and faster and faster and I knew this wasn't good. 

It felt all too familiar. 

Shockwave paused before gently scooping me up in his servo. It wasn't an act of kindness; there was no warmth emitting from him anywhere. Just cold. "You require recharge," he droned. "Logical that an inferior species would require more of it than Cybertronians." He held me up and out like I was some toy he was tired of and began to walk out of the laboratory. I kept my eyes shut the whole time and waited as he walked to my prison, bending over and setting me down against the wall. "I will be back to retrieve you in a day or so." With that he walked out. 

I watched him go before I crumpled to the floor, clasping my hands at my mouth. My body trembled as terrible thoughts entered my mind, thoughts that had already been here before. It felt like they were so old, yet so fresh. It had been a while since I had felt like this. Since Ratchet had become my guardian, in fact, as far as I remembered. 

No one loves you.

You have nobody. 

Nobody wants to rescue you. 

Everyone thinks they are better off without you. 

You are worthless to them.

So are you worth anything at all?

I began to cry silently into my hands as I closed my eyes again, tears falling down and hitting the cold hard floor. I tried to remember the warmth of family, the comfort of someone loving and caring about me. I tried to remember the good feelings that came with being attached to them.

I couldn't find it. 

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Before I say anything else:

For anyone who has ever thought that way before, or even struggles with this now, know that there will always be someone that loves you. Even if every man and woman has turned against you, God loves you and wants to be with you. I'm here if you wanna talk. 

Now, welcome to the FIRST CHAPTER OF FAMILY!!!

Again, it's kinda short...

But that's okay!!! I'm excited for this book, and I hope you guys are too! 

Lol, you probably are if you've read this far.

Well, I hope you enjoy!!

*waves*