Centuries (Thor Odinson Fanfic)

nine

She stood on a balcony, overlooking the horizon as the sounds of a party echo in through the crack in the door. She had no desire for celebration, thoughts hanging heavy on her mind and heart. She had come only for him, to keep that smile upon his face because she'd never let him down. She'd even worn that pale blue dress he seemed to like so much, hoping to disguise her somber mood with the fashion choice but it did no such thing. The party was overwhelming to her, the sounds of reverie striking chords in her that brought nothing but tears to her eyes. She could not explain it, the pain in her chest. She had no reason to be sad, no reason to feel as she did overlooking the water that glimmered with the lights from the palace, a few stray tears escaping her eyes despite herself. 

She did not hear him approach her, muffled laughter from the other room disguising his footsteps, and it was not until he stood beside her did she notice him. He looks at her with a worried expression, a sadness of his own swimming in the dark blue of his eyes. He does not speak, reaching out a hand to brush one of the stray tears off her cheek. She takes in a deep breath, breaking her eyes away from the water to look at him herself. 

"Is it everything you ever wanted?" She finds herself whispering, the worried expression on his face fading to one of confusion now. 

"What do you mean?" He asks her, leaning against the railing just a few inches away from her. His fingers brush the exposed skin on her arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake that causes her to shiver. She isn't sure what she means, another sigh leaving her lips as her eyes move back to the glimmering water. 

"Our entire world is about to change, you and I.... It won't be like this anymore..." She continues to whisper, more tears escaping her eyes and she reaches up to brush them away. Music is floating out of the other room now, familiar melodies that normally would've caused her to smile making her heart ache even further. She felt lost as she stood out there next to him, a feeling she didn't think she'd ever feel again. "You're brother will be king and I..." 

"You will be queen... I know," He whispers back, eyes looking down at his hands. He aches to grab her hand, to intertwine their fingers and never let her go. "We always knew it would end." 

"I did not want it to end like this," She says, bottom lip trembling as even more tears spill out. Her shoulders shake with sobs she withholds, her gaze refusing to meet his because it all hurt too much. 

"It had to eventually, Astrid. You were always meant to be with him and not me," He says, a shadow crossing over his features but she could not bring herself to help him out of the dark anger this time. 

"But I love you, Loki. Not him," Her voice cracks, her eyes looking at him as if her gaze was enough to make it all right again. He reaches out to actually touch her now, fingers brushing across her cheek as he pushes a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. He's looking at her sadly, unspoken words hanging in the air between them as he retracts his hand. 

"You do not have to lie to me anymore, Astrid. I have seen the way you look at each other sometimes..." Loki says, holding up a finger when she gets ready to protest. "I am not saying you don't love me because I know you do... but I know you love him too. You were always meant to, your love for each other was written in the stars long before any of us were ever born. I won't stand in the way of it, I can't..." 

"Why? If you claim to love me as you do, why won't you?" She demands, the sadness fading into anger like it often did around Loki, especially with how everything around her felt like it was imploding. Just days ago, life had been simple, she had been hopelessly in love and ready to take on the world... and now, it was like her world was falling apart beneath her feet, the pieces shattering to the touch. "Am I not worth it to you?" 

"Of course you are!" Loki nearly shouts back, his own anger flaring up above the tight feeling in his chest. He was almost certain he could hear his heart beating over the faint sound of music, his anger holding on tightly to the organ even when he meets her gaze. His voice drops back down into a whisper, a hand reaching out to brush her cheek once more. "You always have been, but you and I both know this will not be a battle I can win. I cannot defeat fate, Astrid, no matter how badly I wish I could."

"So now what?" She asks, her eyes an icy blue that almost struck him cold. Loki lets out a sigh, his eyes glancing back at the party that was taking place just feet away before he grabs Astrid's hand. Linking their fingers together, Loki pulls her away from the balcony despite the resistance. 

"Right now, it's just you and me... but as soon as we walk back through those doors, it will be over. You'll take your place as Thor's queen and I... I will let you go," Loki continues to whisper, placing a hand against her hip before leaning in closely to kiss her cheek. "But for now, I want to hold you one last time... Dance with me?" 

"You hate dancing," She points out, but doesn't protest as Loki begins to sway them to the music.

"Never with you," He says back, pulling her against his chest where she lays her head. She doesn't fight back the tears rolling down her cheek, she doesn't pretend that the sadness in her heart had gone away with a simple gesture. She held onto him tightly, so tightly that there might be bruises in the morning but she couldn't imagine letting this go. They danced for what felt like an eternity, neither one of them wanting to let go despite the fact the music had faded out ages ago.