Half Alive

I'm not ready for this yet.

I’m half alive and I’m waking up to her perfume. I’ll get through on my own. I’m going to be okay. I just hope she’s strong enough to deal with this.

I wish I gave you the note on the bouquet of flowers but I threw it away. It explains everything and I’m sorry to leave you hanging without any explanation. I’m sorry it had to end this way.

I want you to realize you are special in every single way. I don’t care what your hair looks like when you wake up in the morning. I don’t mind even if you haven’t taken a shower for three days. If you can’t sing, I will sing for us. If you can’t dance, I will let you step on my feet and we will dance together. If you can’t paint, we will buy a painting, that’s easy. If you can’t cook, we’ll eat out every day. The things you can’t do I will learn it for you.

You don’t need to become like everyone else. We all have to have something that sets us apart from everyone else. You know what you have that they don’t? Me. I’m crazy in love with you.

Money, career, sex, social status - none of it would remember your existence. At the end of everyone’s life all that would matter is love. Your family and friends will remember you. You are forever in their hearts.

I’m almost alive and I need you to try and save me. It’s okay that I’m dying but I need to survive tonight. So I can tell you that you’ll be okay, everything will be okay. Just try to save me tonight, just tonight. This world doesn't matter to me I'll give up all I had just to breathe the same air as you to share laughter and tears with you for this last night.

My heart is slowing down and I can hardly tell you I’m okay. Believe me when I say it's hard but we'll get through this tonight. And I know one day you and I will be free.

You wrapped your arms around me. I’m not ready for this yet.

For the last time I reminisce the first day I saw you. I was trying to disappear but you got me wrapped around you. I can hardly breathe. How can a girl be so mesmerizing? I got lost in your eyes. You brought me down to size. It was the first time I felt weak and vulnerable. I found someone I would adore intensely. I knew you’re the one I would love for the rest of my life. The one person I would put first above anything else. I would give anything for your happiness. I won’t regret loving you.

I can feel your heart it’s telling me you love me. I heard you whisper “I love you”, I say always and forever. Did you hear me? I felt that your heart skipped a beat.

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Time of death 12:05 AM