Fall in love with an assassin

Chapter 14

The following day, when Belle woke up she was alone in bed. Breakfast was ready on the table; croissant and cappuccino.

Go to hell! She thought.

Lunch was more or less the same. She watched TV all day long while Nikolaj prepared lunch in the kitchen, wearing earphones and talking in what seemed to be Russian and planning God knows what. When he had finished cooking, Belle saw him disappear again into his study, leaving the table set for one and without looking at her into the eyes. She ate hunger-less and wondering how long they would have gone on in that absurd silent treatment; like a married couple who had just had a big argument; but they couldn't define theirs as such, and even if it had been as such, their discussion had only lasted a few seconds.

That day the sun had gone down so slowly that it seemed it wanted to tell Belle, leaning against the railing of the terrace staring at it from behind a red cloud, to leave her worries behind and allow herself to be transported by that evening savory breeze.

That night Nikolaj spoke and Belle was sure that was the first sentence he had uttered to her all day.

"I can't do this." He said while Belle was changing into her pink, lace pajamas and placing her clothes on the chair. She turned around to face him, pretending she hadn't startled by the spread and the strength in which those words had been pronounced; it was as if they had hit her like a silent bullet.

She stared at him, making the most terrible and unthinkable hypothesis and guesses, imagining her horrified expression at that moment.

Nikolaj wasn't looking at her; he was pacing up and down the room, rubbing his chin and making his beard vibrate with his fingers.

Belle tried to push away the myriad of phrases that were bombarding her brain as a continuation of that first affirmation he had uttered; she tried to contain herself by staring at him with her hard up high as if the name «Sam» was on the tip of his tongue, ready to explode.

"I can't be angry with you, Belle." Nikolaj confessed, staring at her with his chin up as if he were standing on a higher level compared to her. He spread out his arms, taking in a deep breath, and then allowed them to fall back to his sides without ever taking his eyes off of her.

Belle swallowed silently. The power of that look overwhelmed her quickly, like a bolt of lightning through her stomach, cutting her guts. She turned the other way so that her eyes wouldn't meet his. She placed her cold and shaky hands on her womb and asked herself why his gaze was upsetting her so much.

She could hear his moccasins stepping on the floor and Belle knew very well that they were walking towards her. Suddenly his hands appeared under her arms; one of them positioned itself on her belly, lifting her t-shirt slightly up; the other hand on her kneck, grabbing it as if he wanted to strangle her, but with softness.

Nikolaj leaned his chest on her back, covering her with his wide shoulders and pulled his head aside, managing to cup her entire kneck with just one hand; that's how small it was. Belle's hair made away for him falling from her shoulder backward and exposing her skin so that his hot and dry breath stung her from time to time.

"I can't stand not to be able to touch you, baby." He whispered in her ear. "I can't live without it anymore." He added biting one of her cheekbones. Belle squinted her eyes trying not to move and remain calm even if those soft bites and kisses were making her belly toss and turn. But at that very moment, Sam's face appeared like a dark and hazy vision as if a projector was painting his image right in front of her eyes, on that bare wall lit by the corridor light. Sam was smiling at her, his dark eyes were bright and they sparkled surrounded by a gloomy brightness. It was one of her best memories with him; in effect, every time Sam smiled was always a good memory.