Of Blades and Blood | Witcher

xviii. Sounds

 Calming down after the row Dettlaff had with Alma was no easy task, but he sensed his blinding anger had lasted significantly shorter than in previous years. Was it perhaps Regis' patient emotional therapy over time or his deep love for Alma? Regardless of whatever aided his recovery, he understood it would be some time before he could approach Alma once more. There were two main things stirring in Dettlaff's mind: his lack of understanding how Alma could truly be so insensitive to all he had suffered, and also his inability to recognize why Alma was upset. She clearly was - but what had he done exactly?

All of Dettlaff's good sense was telling him to go back to her and ask her to explain. Rather, go back and have a calm talk with her. Behind all of the pain and anger they were feeling was, now without a doubt, the fact that Alma reciprocated Dettlaff's adoration. That was another reason why he could not go back, for that alone was baffling to him. His mind replayed the way she took careful steps, clenched her fists, and failed to calm her breathing before she spun around and told him, looking at him with those steady eyes of green fire he so loved.

Dettlaff, trying to battle everything he was feeling so powerfully all at once, firmly kept his distance. He knew Regis would always be aware of where he was, but also knew he would keep quiet while he aided Alma. Meanwhile, Dettlaff would always be nearby at the least, in case something went wrong. That remained unchanged.

What had changed, though, was him. In Regis' words, this was inevitable, but Dettlaff was still trying to grasp this as well. Yet he grasped it, truly, and was simply trying not to believe he deserved the new him that stood before him. And he felt it was entirely because of her.

He felt more patience and calm, more love in his heart than he had in a long time. And though he foolishly said otherwise in his rage, Alma was the opposite of every vile human who'd ever crossed his path. She was honest and strong and, above all else, kind to him. It was important for him to remind himself of that - that she returned his feelings.

Ever since she'd come back to him after the peril she was in for too long, his love was also growing more fierce. In fact, it made him ache every second and he wanted nothing more than to finally hold her and love her in every way he knew how - yet he was still stuck stifling it and traveled off to the side because they'd unwisely made each other angry.

In spite of his love, the worries that consumed Dettlaff after Beauclair came back in full swing and his instinct told him he couldn't trust her. Yet he still loved her all the same. It was merely a matter of organizing the feelings and thoughts he still couldn't control, and figuring out which ones would finally lead to the happy ending he always longed for.

After being unable to find a cave after a cold day and abundant slow travel, Alma and Regis set up a small camp in the evening. They spoke for a little while over the small fire. Regis was helping her understand the politics and economics of human kingdoms, as she knew so little outside of Gwendeith. While it seemed like she was getting it, she also grew less interested as time went on. There were times, as Dettlaff knew were wont to happen, it sounded like Regis was having a conversation with himself.

It was around midnight when the two had stopped speaking, though, and Alma bundled herself beneath a heavy wool blanket and yawned. Dettlaff returned then. Alma hardly glanced at him before rolling over to sleep but, as Dettlaff sat beside the fire, he felt Regis' careful gaze on him. He looked over at his friend who tried to get him to speak with facial expression only. Dettlaff shook his head, getting irritated again, and got up to take another walk.

Dettlaff's feelings ran through his veins once again, all in their own fervor, all different but feeling a bit like the same chaos. He took his rest against a blackened tree, listening to the frogs, crickets, and faint crackling of the fire behind him.

With that as idle background, he had a hope in the back of his mind that she was going to come behind him at any moment speak of the situation, perhaps for the both of them. That she would say all the things that still remained unsaid despite their declarations.

Then he closed his eyes and focused harder on the sounds around him until in his ears he could hear Alma's heart beating. In the same way that meant she was fast asleep, and only somewhere far away from him.

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here are some more fresh apologies coming your way! I know it's been over two months since I updated - not only does time fly, but those two months were booked full of either school or slight emotional distress. I'm also sorry this chapter is so short, but I created a filler that could maybe get me out of this block I've been having. this doesn't contribute to the plot all that much, I admit, but it really is for me to get back into this. I'm sorry again, I promise I didn't mean to keep y'all waiting. another update to come hopefully soon (as in within a week). xx