SHE

One

Here we go again with me standing on the edge of the Brooklyn bridge, facing the water below. Behind, people begging me to come down saying all sort of things like it's gonna be fine, that whatever had happened is not the end of the world.

Well guess what I've heard all that before, this time I won't be easy to convince.

If I didn't listen the last time then maybe, just maybe we won't be in this position right now. I might be in heaven, chatting and catching up with my mom for all these years we've spent apart.

Okay time to jump now, one, two.

"Amy please don't do this", I turned to see Kate, what was she doing here.

Did she read my letter , but she swore never to set foot in our house.

She moved slowly close to me, "Let's talk about this". She said calmly and softy, like a mother, does she see me as her daughter now.

I looked at her, her eyes were filled with love and care, plus they were glittering with tears.

For a moment there I almost gave up and run to her, but remembering everything that had happened between us all these years, I hated her, deep inside I still do but also couldn't help but hate myself even more.

All she ever did was to be a good mother to a kid who just lost her mother, and what did I do,I cause trouble, I cause everyone to be unhappy.

I'm better off dead.

I swallowed a lump in my throat, still looking at her.

"I'm really sorry", that's all I had to say for my sorry self.

I lay back as the air engulfed  my body, Kate was hanging ontop of the bridge looking down at me,within seconds I splashed into water.

I closed my eyes as the water entered my mouth and nose, I couldn't breath.

This is it, this is the end of Amy Griffins.

The faces of everyone I've wronged kept on flashing on my mind, technically they are the ones to blame, if my dad never neglected me because of his new wife, and if my friend never betrayed me, and if the guy I loved never betrayed me, I wouldn't have had the need to shatter their lives in million pieces.

Okay, also maybe I am to blame for being where I am right now but who's pointing fingers.

I'm still suffocating slowly, slowly, and I think I can hear the sound of the paramedics, I hope I die before they get me out of the water.

Let me take this time I have left to explain why I'm here.

My miserable life started when my mother died in a car accident on our way home from my school.

It was after her death I became, well there's no word on earth to describe me.

******

Before my mom died we were the most happy and adorable family ever.

I was about ten years old when she died, my dad was there for me, he made me forget everything, with him around it was like my mom never left, we were complete.