"I told you I needed space Dean." I speak in a not so welcoming tone with my eyes fixed on his in anger.
"Yeah, you did, but this, this isn't good for you..Drinking away your sorrow, it's not a good road to go down, trust me I know it." He says his voice sounding more vulnerable than usual.
"Who are you to confront me about drinking?! All you ever do is drink away your problems Dean! That's all anyone in this family does! Hell dad did it!..and I guess he just passed it on down to us! I hated the man truly I did, but now, I see how he did.. I feel how he did Dean! How he hated his very existence for getting my mom killed. The only difference is, I don't have anyone else to blame besides myself." I explode in raw emotion feeling the tears welling up in my eyes.
"Audrey, I know how bad it is to lose someone because of our life, but Dean's right we can't leave you alone right now." Sam speaks up as Dean seems to not know what to say after my outburst.
"I'm fine, I don't need you two to babysit me. I'm not stupid, I know what you're really thinking, but I'm not going to take the easy way out, so you can just go!" I manage to get out in frustration before turning back to the bar.
"No Audrey we can't. You're our family. And family don't leave each other especially in times like these." Dean gains enough strength to speak up once.
"Yeah, well I'm telling you to leave." I spit back hostilely before storming outside.
~
As I'm walking to my bike I hear Dean's voice speak to me sadly as he gets closer.
"Look Audrey I know you are heartbroken and I wish I never took that risk, if I could go back now I would, but-" Dean starts looking down on me with a look of self loathing.
"What risk?" I cut him off my eyes darting to his.
"I was waiting outside of the building, hiding in the surrounding forest, his death wasn't your fault Audrey it was mine." Dean admits his voice low and full of regret.
"Dean, as much as I'd love to believe that his death wasn't on me, you aren't the one to blame. Grayson made a deal with a demon and that demon had planned everything. No matter what I did, it was always going to end up with me killing him." I manage to get out without breaking down.
"You killed him?" Sam questions his eyes widening at what he had just walked into.
"Well not really him, he was already gone. The demon had planned it so perfectly that he died right when he wanted him to. And the best part of it all, the demon didn't care about Grayson, it was all some sick ulterior motive to get at me. Apparently he has been following me ever since dad and I moved. He manipulated things just to make sure everything fell into place, even back to when I got kidnapped by the shifter, that was all apart of his plan. All of it! And I fucking fell right into it!" I shout in anger my emotions becoming to much to control, I slam my fist into the bar wall behind me.
"Audrey I'm so sorry." Sam apologizes with major sympathy as he looks down on me.
"The best part out of it all...he wouldn't kill me, hell I was asking for it, and he wouldn't! He wanted to and I quote, literally make me live with my mistake forever. But that's not all, no it couldn't possibly be, you see he saw a place so hidden in me that not even I thought could still be there, he seen the darkness in me."
"Audrey what are you talking about?"
"There's something wrong inside me Dean! Everyone I care about dies because of me and worst of all I end up being the one who has to kill them. I don't know if I'm cursed, or if I'm laced with evil, but something's not right in me. Hell I mean most people hate the job, but me, no not me. I willingly fucking throw myself into it, hell I like it."
"Audrey whatever that demon was putting into your head you can't believe him he was just trying to do whatever he could to get to you." Sam tried to comfort me with a look of concern.
"Yeah, but you'd think demons would get to most people with lies, but he knew, Sam he knew that the only way to get to me was with the truth. I may not look like one, and I may hunt others, but that's all just to cover up the fact that I am a monster." I explain my eyes filled with disgust at myself as I look up to see my brothers tear glazed eyes.
"Alright Audrey enough! You aren't a curse, and you're sure as hell not a monster! His death it's not on your hands! You have to see that!" Dean shouts in care, his eyes trying to meet mine.
"Well I never will because if it weren't for meeting me, he and his brother would still be alive and happy." I respond my sad, regretful eyes trailing up to his.
"Audrey-" Dean begins to protest as he moves to wrap his arms around me in a loving hug.
"No. Dean you don't understand this boy is rotting in Hell all because I left him. And that, that is on my hands, not yours! And there's nothing I can fucking do about it because we already burned him. So now I'm stuck here not only with his death on my hands, but his brothers as well! I ruined his whole family just by loving him!" I reject his hug, backing away from my brothers tears forming in my eyes as I speak the brutal truth.
"Audrey, it's not your fault. You said it yourself, the demon had been watching you ever since you and dad moved. Hell probably even before that."
"You see that's the thing Sam, he wanted to covert me or something, he kept saying I was one of them."
"Audrey you aren't one of them you are just going through a lot at the moment." Sam replies in a understanding tone.
"Yeah? Well then tell me why I end up being the one who kills the ones I loved?" I scoff trying to hold back my tears.
"Audrey-"
"No answer me. Why out of all the ways they could've died, why does it always end up with me killing them. First it was my best friend, then Ethan, and then Grayson....Why is it always me Sam?" I question looking up into my brothers eyes with tears running from mine.
