Sorry [KNJxReader] Soulmates -One Shot-

미안해요

The second he shut the door the tears started rolling down his face.

He couldn't hold it back anymore. The feeling in his chest kept telling him he'd ruined everything. The world gave him a chance to love and care for his soulmate and he'd wasted it. He knew he neded you by his side to be complete, he knew he couldn't live away from you. The thought of you leaving without feeling loved, It broke his heart.

He knew he couldn't drive back to the appartment right now, not in this state. He picked up his phone and called Yoongi.

"What's wrong?" his friend answered as soon as he picked up. The guys knew eachother so well they kind of knew when the other was suffering.

"Is it Y/N?" Yoongi asked after waiting for answers Namjoon couldn't give him

"I came to her appartment. I'm too late. I..." he tried telling his hyung but he coudn't say it. The pain you were feeling mixed with his pressed on his chest to hard, he could barely breathe.

The beauty of beeing soulmates was destroying both of you. Feeling your happiness was beautiful and magical, but enduring your pain burned, either way those were your feelings and soulmates would always sense the others' strongest feelings.

"I'll go pick you up. Don't move, Don't try to drive. I'll be there" Namjoon nodded at his friend's words "I'll bring Jin over, he can drive your car, Ok?" Namjoon suddently felt as if his heart was crushed, but he knew the pain wasn't his, had to be yours.

"Yeah, bring Jimin too. She might talk to him" It hurt but Namjoon couldn't just leave you alone. He understood if you wouldn't talk to him but he felt you shouldn't be left alone, he couldn't leave you this broken, he had to give you a reason to come back or his hope, your hope would be lost.

"Sure, We'll be there. Hold still" Yoongi said and hanged up.

Namjoon kept on cying. He couldn't bear the thought that kept popping up in his head: He'd failed her, Hurt her, His soulmate.

The constant pain in his heart told him you were also hurting and that haunted him even more. He only wanted to run and hold you but you were too far from his reach "I love you Y/N" he told the wind, a part of him hoped he would carry on the message to her. He hoped his soulmate could still feel loved.

Without any apparent reason the memories from the day came back to him, each like a dagger to his fragile heart.

Your laughter and hapiness; he would treasure that phone call forever.

The hope on your voice as you described the event; but he wouldn't make it, he couldn't be there for you.

The way the road seamed to streach out as it took him away from you; but even worse: the way he could feel both hearts falling appart.

The look on Jimin's face when he told him "She didn't get it. She couldn't, she needed you there hyung"

The thousand unanswered calls and messages, you wouldn't pick up

The warning from your best friend: "go to her place Joon, she needs to know you'll be there for her", he'd gotten there as fast as he could but the only answer he'd gotten where silent sorbs coming from inside

He felt miserable. You had the chance to audition and he couldn't be there to support you. After all the time you two spent preparing and getting ready to preform it all came crashing down last minute. And Namjoon was the one to blame. He'd been so busy he hadn't checked his own schedule, they had a meeting with the CEO.

He's heart hurt even more when he remembered those triumphant words you'd said in the morning

"After this I could show them I'm really meant to be here, I could say with you in Seoul. No one would take me away from my one and only love."

But that wasn't real, not anymore. You didn't pass the audition and now they would drag you back to your 'hometown'. He couldn't believe it, you would be taken away from him and he couldn't avoid it. He felt powerless, he couldn't protect his love from all you'd have to face going back. He couldn't keep you by his side. He'd failed miserably

。。。。。。。。。。

Suddenly, inside your apartment a light was turned on. Your beautiful christmas lights, they made you feel magical, and made you look stunning.

Namjoon watched your shadow dance around the room, it gave you both a little relief calming the pain ponding inside of your chest.

Dancing and singing made that possible they took pain and worry away from your heart pouring every emotion into skill. You were amazing, not just because of hours of practice but because you would convey feelings into every gesture, every note, connecting with the audience.

You came out to the balcony and Namjoon's breath speed up you told the wind something but he was a terrible message-carrier.

Almost immediately you fell to the floor bringing the pain and sorrow back. Something or someone had taken away the spark that lived inside of your soul.

You felt like you couldn't bear it anymore, it was too hard, your heartbeat was struggling to keep up with your overwhelming feelings.

He couldn't stand watching ypu like that, he couldn't let you suffer.

"Please answer" he pleaded as he placed the phone call all his hope on that line, waiting for your answer.

Upstairs you heard the phone vibrate, your brain told you to ignore it but you found the slightest bit of courage to pick it up. Namjoon could hear your uneasy breathing as you brought the phone to your lips.

Before he could say anything you spoke, Namjoon worried about what you would say but listened

"I'm sorry Namjoon. I'm sorry I failed you. I really am, Please forgive me" you whispered. Namjoon felt something inside him suddenly change "I'm sorry I disappointed you. I should have been stronger. I'm an awful soulmate. I'm sorry" you continued.

"Y/N please stop. You are the most wonderful person on the universe. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. I'm sorry I couldn't give you strength." he sighed as you took everything in

"Above all I'm sorry I left you feel like this. You would never fail me. I know how hard auditions can be I'm sorry you had to go through it on your own. I know as your soulmate I should always be there for you, I'm sorry I couldn't do that. I just don't want you to forget you are very talented and the world would be thankful to see you preform. I love how much care you put into detail and how you seem to have everything figured out. Who am I kidding? I love every single aspect about you.  From the way you smile, how your face lights up whenever you're happy, the way you dance in the rain. The way it feels when I hold you and I have the certainty you are meant for me. I love you, not just because we are meant to but because you make my world completely. I love everything about you. I love you Y/N"

This time happy tears fell down your faces and the feelings you shared began to turn brighter.
You now felt able to speak again, to tell him how much love you shared. With every frase lifting a weight from your chests.

"I love you Namjoon. I love you and I'm going to prove it to every star that decided to bring us together. I love from my soul, my everything loves you and I would give it all to you without hesitation. I'm yours, I've always been and I will forever be. I know I can't live without you, I won't even try." You sighed, knowing you might regret asking for such thing "Could you please come over and hold me. I'm sorry for asking I just need you here" Namjoon smiled "I'll love to. Close you eyes and count to 100"