EGOTISTIC | DAHMO

Chapter 37: さよならひとり

In a sea full of blacks Momo and I walked at twelve o'clock sharp. It was a rainy day, one that she would definitely enjoy. When the first raindrops fell, black umbrellas were raised, hiding the faces of the crying and the sorrow. 

The walk from the car to the cemetery was a hurt road, as if the pavement had nails all over it and I was barefoot. The pain wouldn't go away easily, we all knew. 

Everyone was quietly gathered around the family, watching as they mumbled their final goodbyes. Next to them were three girls that weren't related, but still concidered family.  

The eldest, the redhead, who was usually the one overflowing with excitement and energy seemed tired today. Over her head was a scarf, black in colour like the rest of her clothes. Her head was hung low and her eyes never left the girl in the casket. It seemed like she was reminiscing the times she had with her, both sad and happy ones. She mumbled 'goodbye' and 'I'm sorry' over and over again as if she was alone and couldn't be heard.

Next to her, holding her hand was the blonde. The girl looked the most composed out of the three, although she was shaking. Maybe it was because of the temperature or the rain. Nevertheless, she held the older's hand and had her eyes shut, breathing lightly and praying.

The last one, the maknae, was in the worst condition. Tightly holding onto the girl's grieving mother, she cried. Her weeping and sniffling could be heard from the very back of the long line, the line filled with individuals wishing to say goodbye to the pale girl inside the coffin. The silver haired girl did not care a bit though. She was suffocating, drowning in emotions and had to let it all out before she had to move on. It was overwhelming, really, the sorrow and the pain in her voice.

In the open casket, dressed in white was the girl everyone didn't want to let go. The scar on her head was covered and her big eyes, that potrayed terror that night, were finally resting closed. Her lips were slightly parted, painted in a faint shade of pink to hide their true blue or maybe purple colour, and her dark brown hair fell loosely over her shoulders.

Slouched over her body was her father. He was the only one not holding an umbrella, shielding his daughter with his body. He protected her from the rain, just like how he would do from the rain of bullets.

Momo snaked her hand around my waist protectively, offering her shoulder to cry on. She always did it, even if sometimes she needed one as badly as I did.

"Deep breaths" she reminded, bringing me closer. "We can do this. Together"

And we could. From the beggining, we both knew we could. We could do everything together, her and I. Even say the final, solitary goodbye.

We walked, together near her. She looked so peaceful, I thought, and very pretty. A few raindrops stained her pale skin making her look that she was crying. Maybe she was, internally.

It must truly hurt leaving such a big family behind, with people who love you to pieces. It must be hard never finding peace within yourself, never liking the way you've been made. That's how she felt and now, after years of struggling, she's resting.

I held her hand. It wasn't warm anymore. It didn't instinctively hold onto mine as it always did. I looked at her face for a little longer, at least she was fine now. 

"Goodbye, Jennie"

I bowed and walked away, gripping my umbrella tightly and joining the rest of the people in the back of the line. 

And when the casket closed, the loud noise of the rain falling was muted by the mourning of the guests. The wailing and screeching echoed in the cemetery and the ground shook from the thunder that had just fallen, as if the dead were pleading for some silence from under the ground.

"We will start over" Momo said, looking at the three girls by the grieving family "That's what Jennie would want"

"We will" I breathed out, closing my umbrella and letting the rain fall on my face.

That was our last goodbye...

And you're free now.

_____

A/N: 

さよならひとり　抱きあうように
この世界に咲きみだれて
さよならひとり　悲しまないで
この世界に咲き誇る花よ

Goodbye, so that we can embrace each other again
Spread your flowers in this world
Goodbye, do not be sad for being alone
In this world, a flower that blooms in full glory

-さよならひとり
(Sayonara Hitori)
[Solitary Goodbye]
Taemin of SHINee

And that was it. Thank you for reading EGOTISTIC!

Writing both SHY and it's sequel was surely a great experience. I'm thankful to everyone who has been supportive of this book and generally, the stories I publish.

Please look forward to the rest of my works.

Thank you, again.