Counting Stars

Chapter One: The Beginning of Everything

        I was laying outside on a picnic blanket. I was in the middle of nowhere. I had driven myself to the most remote locaton I could think of. The one that you had taken me to. I decided to come here, to try to remember what happened that night. That tragic night. I don't know why I wanted to come here. All it did for me was make me remember you. And I didn't want that.

        "My name is Cassie Jameson, I'm seventeen years old. Yes, he did take me against my will." I tell them this every time they ask.

        We were very happy, you and I. We were star-crossed lovers. The kind of love that you never forget about. The kind that you tell your children about. I had always hoped that they would be your children too. But our story wasn't the kind of story to tell your children. It was too horrific, too painful for me to fully recolect without my eyes starting to water.

        You were nineteen. You had enlisted at the age of eighteen. You were going through basics. I noticed every time I got the chance to see you, that your arms were growing in size, doubling. I thought it was hot, the way when you hugged me, how I felt your muscles envelop me. Never did I imagine, that one day those arms would harm me.

        Just you and me, Cassie and Jason. We were the ideal couple in our high school. Even though you had already graduated, I was a senior. You came and suprised me during my A.P English class. You walked in with red carnations (my favorite) and you announced your presence in the doorway, with your huge grin plastered on your face. My teacher didn't like that you had interrupted, and told you to quiet down. You walked over to my desk, handed me the flowers, and kissed my cheek. I read the note, it said, I'll pick you up at eight. Where something warm, with layers. -Jason<3. When I looked up, everyone was staring at me. I was smiling like an idiot. I walked out of class with my bouquet, and went to my locker. My best friend Paige was waiting for me. "Who are those from?" she asked as she grabbed them to smell. "Jason brought them to me, during english." I said. She giggled, then you both walked down the hallway, discussing the note that was with them. "That's so romantic, he's such a sweetie." she told me, with a huge grin. I left school and went home to plan my outfit, and  fix my makeup. I put on a pair of brown skinny jeans. Then my white tank top, and over that, a mahogony colored long sleeved shirt. I then grabbed my yellow chevron scarf and put that on also. As I left, I grabbed my brown leather jacket from the hall closet.

        You did as promised. You were here by eight. You had your beautiful blond hair slicked back, only it wasn't in places you'd messed with it. You looked nervous. Your sea blue eyes searching my face. "Babe? Are you alright?" I asked as I rubbed your arm, then grabbed your hand. "Yeah, it's just you look great." you told me, leading me to your car. That was unusual. You usually called me beautiful, or gorgeous, or hot. Even sometimes sexy. You were acting weird. You drove us to the pizza place that I loved. You ordered for yourself, then looked at me expectantly. "Oh sorry, um a Coke please." I said. You were acting really strange. You usually ordered for me. 

        We both enjoyed dinner, you telling me about basics. How your sergeant was a complete asshole. "So he basically pushed you on the ground and told you to do three hundred push ups? If you didn't, you had to clean the barracks for the rest of the week?" I asked , sounding exasperated.  Later I found out that you had never even stepped foot into basic training for the military.

        We  jumped in your car, and drove straight out of town, away from the lights, the noise of traffic, and safety. You pulled into a field. There was nothing else around, except a blanket, and a bottle of champagne. "Wow, you did this for me?" I  asked as I walked over to the pallet. "Yeah, we need some time alone." you grabbed me, we both fell hard on the ground. You caught me though. "Sorry, I'm really clumsy." you told me as you straghtened my hair, and my scarf. You let your fingers linger on the spot where my scarf left my skin bare. I felt butterflies in my stomach. You then picked me up, and placed me in your lap. You started to kiss my forehead, then proceeded to my cheeks, then my mouth. I was tingling. You then grabbed the bottom of my shirt, trying to pull it off. "Stop babe, what are you doing" I asked you, kind of panicking. You knew I wanted to wait to go all the way until we  were married. "I want you, I need you." you said as you lifted my shirt higher off my back. You were looking at me, a kind of wild expression on your face. "Babe, please stop." I pushed your hand away, then got out of your lap. "Please, Cas, I need this right now." you came towards me, grabbing at my pants. "Stop!" I squealed, then I slapped you. You looked stunned. You shook your head. "You shouldn't have done that." you said as you toppeled on to me. I quickly scrambled away from you, I went and sat on the edge of the blanket, looking at the stars through blurred eyes. "Babe, I'm sorry, please, I'm a total ass." you said, I could hear you coming near me. "Don't touch me." I said through a cracked voice. You backed off. I sat there, and looked at the stars, trying to count them, thinking that they would calm me. I never knew you could be aggressive. You were always this sweet, compassionate guy, I can't remember you ever hurting somone. Except last year, when Ravon Peters started the rumor that I had slept with him, that I was a whore. You kicked his face in. He left me alone after that. Other than that, you were harmless. I wondered if your hormones were blocking your common sense.

        I don't know how long I sat there. I didn't know what time we had arrived at that place. I checked my phone. It read one thirty in the morning. Lucky for me, it was a Friday night. I could hear your breathing, how it seemed to sputter, like you were having trouble breathing. I turned to make sure you were okay. You just stared back at me. You mouthed the words "I'm so sorry" and I nodded, accepting your apology. Only that wasn't what you were referring to. You were on me in seconds, holding a rag that smelled sweet. You placed it over my nose, and my mouth, making that sweet scent the only thing I could smell. My head began to spin. I cried out, trying to scream, I writhed trying to escape your rock hard grip. It was no use, my body became limp in your arms.

        The last thing I remember was you carrying me to your car. You placed me in the passenger side seat, then shut the door. My head felt like it was imploding. I couldn't think straight. I then let the tugging sleepiness take over. I remember closing my eyes, seeing you next to me, gripping the wheel so tight that your knuckles turned white. You were speaking to me, but I didn't hear. I let the darkness envelop me.