chaotic perfection

Chapter seven

                                   Present day

    My mom returns with the white wine I've always loved from a local winery downtown and I thank her before taking a large gulp. Stark eyes me as I do so with some worry and disapproval in his eyes. He doesn't say anything but looks at his mum excuses himself to the restroom. All eyes watch him as he walks away. Like he's a ticking time bomb.
I excuse myself as well to go look for him. He knows the bathroom is the first door on the left down the hallway but he went further.
I find him in my old bedroom. The walls are still pink, my mom forced that one. My twin bed with my floral bed spread from high school still tucked and neat sits in the corner. My desk with books and the bookshelf next to it still hold a few of my childhood books. I smile at all the memories from the room. I find him sitting in the window.
"What's wrong?" I ask as I walk over to him, leaning against the wall.
He looks over at me with a sad smile, one I haven't seen since we were young teenagers. "Just seeing this place. Seeing you, you still look like the same old Rox I grew up but different as well. You asked for wine tonight, do you drink often? I remember you swore to never drink due to Scott." He said the name with distaste but I see that he hasn't balled his fist. Progress.
"I don't drink often really. A glass of wine or beer here and there. After you left I went on a drinking rampage though. After what Jacob did.. I didn't have anyone" I say.
He has a lot of pain and sadness in his eyes when he looks up from his fingers that he was picking at. "I'm sorry I was a stupid boy and I ruined our friendship. My whole life fell apart and I couldn't bare to have you leave me too. I've always loved you You were my constant but I figured if I left you first it wouldn't hurt so bad. I know that's a stupid excuse but it's all I've got" he says.
"It's not stupid I understand it. I wasn't the best either. I ignored all your reaching out and continued to party and drink. I had something major happen that I almost called you for but I handled it on my own." I say sadly as I move to sit on my bed.
"What happened with you and perfect boyfriend anyways?" He asks teasingly.
"He cheated on me with Tristan from high school."
I say curtly.
"Tristan? As in slutty Tris? Oh my god what an idiot! I should kill him. After all his griping of us being friends." He says walking towards me. He sits next to me on the edge of the bed. "I'm so sorry Rox. I knew I didn't like that guy. No ones that polite and perfect.
"It's fine really. He was always super insecure and controlling of who I was friends with after you left. He changed that night." I sigh after I speak. I hadn't thought of all that in years.
"What happened that made you almost call me?" He asks in an almost whisper.
"I uhm.. I had an issue with this guy I was seeing. He got really.. nasty towards the end when I ended things. Started showing up at my work and leaving notes on my car. Threatening me and stuff. I contacted the cops about it and they didn't do shit of course until my apartment got broken into. Then they granted me a restraining order." I look at him with worry of his reaction.
"He stands up and paces back and forth with his hands deep in his black pants pocket. He removes one and runs it through his hair, his sign of anger. "Why didn't you call me Rox? I woulda made sure that guy never bothered you again!" He snaps.
"We weren't talking and he stopped once I got that restraining order it's really not a big deal he's not bothering me anymore." I try and reason with him.
Getting up I walk towards him and look into his eyes. "I'm ok. I'm fine, look" I say.
His breathing returns to normal and he looks at my eyes once more I see them calm. "I have been looking at you, all night." He replies with a slight smile spreading across his face.
"Stark you stop that!" I laugh at his remark.
"But your eyes Rox, they're not you. You look exhausted." His gaze always piercing through my soul. Of course he would be the one to notice even after all these years.
"It's nothing I've just-"
"Not been sleeping, reading, throwing yourself into your school work and job to try and runaway." He says in a matter of fact tone. I guess bad habits are indeed hard to break. I've been this way since I was a kid. I try and distract myself from the real world so I don't face it.
"Don't examine me mister! I'm fine. Just going through a break up after seeing him for two years is all" I say like it's no big deal but I know he sees the pain and sadness in my eyes.
"You've always had a shit choice in men." He smiles at me. "I'm sorry it didn't work out but he's a fool and you guys just weren't meant." He tucks my strand of hair behind my ear, like he used to.
The goosebumps that always appear whenever he touches me, instantly appear like fire on my arms. I look down at my feet. "Yeah I guess. I'm just too much of a mess ya know? Got bad habits, I'm too stubborn."
He puts his hand under my chin and lifts my face up to look back at him. "You're always a mess Rox, but the right person will know that and be there to help clean it up." He says in the most serious tone I've heard in a while from him.
My cheeks turn burn red and I laugh it off "Yeah I hope so. Maybe one day."
"Let's rejoin the others so they don't start looking for us and assume the worst eh? That I've murdered you and thrown you out the window" He laughs.
We walk back out rejoining and everyone seems relieved. My mom comes out to announce that dinner is ready.