Passing through the thick bushes, I overlook the bay coast to come to a small graveyard. Small tombs rows on the slope, sparkling as receiving the reflected light of the sea.
I decorate the space between tombs while walking, one of the tomb, I stop in front of a brand new small tomb. I offer flowers, linking hands.
"Are you visiting the victim's tombs, Kunikida-sama?"
When I open my eyes for that clear voice, Miss Sasaki appears beside me in a white kimono. She holds a bunch of white chrysanthemum on right hand.
When she lines up beside me and garnishes the flowers, I cast down my eyes gently. "The kimono suits you."
"I wonder if mourning dress is good, unfortunately I only have this on hand. Is that why Kunikida-sama does anytime....? When ones who were involved in work dies, you're offering flowers in front of a grave."
Miss Sasaki comes with me, abducted; it's the tomb of the dead victims of abandoned hospital's basement.
"Ah, there's no other reason. It's because I think that I should do that, that's it."
Miss Sasaki doesn't deny or affirm, just smiling at me.
The sea breeze passes through; many trees through the forest are rustling and swinging. I continue the monologue in the same way.
".... When the first time I put out someone to die in work, I absent from work without permission because I couldn't get up after I cried so hard. I thought that I couldn't get over it anymore. But no single tear comes out recently. Therefore, I come to the grave as the substitute for tears, I just think so. At the very last, the dead victims won't come to mind."
"If you shed tears ... Will the deceased people come up?"
"I don't know. Perhaps they won't be come up nor be saved. Shed tears, praying in front of a grave, I can't reach the dead. Their time, it's already stopped. What we can do, it's just mourning. If people die, living people can only mourn with the reality. Only to believe the thing is normalcy in the world assuredly."
".... Isn't that cruel, Kunikida-sama?"
For Miss Sasaki's words, I look back. What a surprise. Invisibly, Miss Sasaki has tears in her eyes.
"In previous story .... I lied for one thing. I broke up with my lover ...because he's dead. That man burned to obtain ideals. I tried to be his strength.... I whispered one word of love uneventfully, he died alone."
At time like this, to be honest I wonder if I can speak some decent words to comfort. "Is that so?" However, I can't do things like that.
"Dead people are cowardice. I agree with Kunikida-sama. The time of the deceased people has already stopped. That person won't be pleased no matter what I do now, won't smile no matter what I do. I'm so tired already."
After a long line from Miss Sasaki, her eyes can't support those big tears that run down.
There is a hermit who has full knowledge of this world, if he says perfect words, I wonder if it can stop the tears right now.
I require ideal, remembering ideal in notebook, it's good if we endure whatever actual realization.
The perfect words just now, I think that the existence of a world where all people saved from perfect salvation does not exist.
But that encouragement, indeed it's helpless before the tears of that woman.
"Excuse me. I disturbed you.... I, I'll take my leave soon."
"Are you fine?" It's so stupid for me to ask such question.
"Yes. As matter of fact from person in charge of Military Police, the incident this time is in responsibility of external bureaucracy advisor. I'm specialized in there, since the case this time is too complicated.... for now it's in charge of official bureaucracy appointment."
Speaking of external advisor of military force, must be a considerably good human being. The incident resolution of cooperative worker deducts the fact; there is a reasonable achievement from the beginning.
"In case, there's a trouble thing occurs in work, I rely on you."
"Yes, sure." Miss Sasaki finally smiles.
The wind blows from the horizon, stroking past the mountain ridge line and passes by. After doing the silent bow, Miss Sasaki leaves.
After seeing it off, I have no idea when I gaze at the scenery of Yokohama.
Suddenly the cell phone rings shifting consciousness.
It's from Dazai.
"Kunikida-kun. I'd like you to come for a while." Dazai's voice is unusual and gloomy.
