Repaying the Debt

Chapter One

I stand in an alleyway behind an old bar my father used to own. Normally you'd think this situation would terrify a 20 year old female. Not when you do this twice a month for the past 4 years.
I look at my watch as it read 12:59 AM. Our meetings are always a brief one and 1AM. On cue a large man walks towards me as I hold onto a thin envelope filled with more payments.
He approaches me, holds his hand out as I place the envelope in his hand. He stuffs it into his jacket and says the same two words he does every time. "Next time." In a deep and rough voice.
I simply nod and turn and head home to my apartment a few blocks from here.
A soon as I enter my mostly empty run-down apartment, I'm greeted with the same depressing feeling I feel every damn day.
I sit at my table and single chair and I debate to either pay my water or electric bill this month. I can never afford to pay for both after the loan shark payment and my brothers special needs home bill.
I hold back tears as I write my brothers housing check and a check for electric. Another month without water. Luckily my job has showers for employees otherwise I rather freeze every night during the Maine evenings than have poor personal hygiene and get fired.
My stomach rumbles reminding me that I haven't eaten all day. I try to hold onto every cent even if it meant not eating. I'm in such shit I can barely afford to feed myself.
I'm 5'7 and weigh only 124lbs. Severely underweight for a woman my height and age. Very evident by the multiple ribs and spine vertebrae you can count individually. If father were alive and mother were to see me like this- before you know it they'd be stuffing me like a Thanksgiving turkey!

My father passed years ago from a heart attack brought on from too much stress and anxiety. His heart eventually couldn't take it anymore. The year following his death, my mother was still so heart-broken that she took her own life. Of course she still had enough sense to not let her children see or find her body, she had sent my brother to a special needs home and me to a summer camp. I was still in High School when all this occurred. But I refuse t let these events effect me in modern day minus the fact I am still stuck paying off father's mob payments. Payments he took to try and keep one of his few bars around the area going. It's incredible how much he was willing to take from them. I doubt he would have done this if he knew I was someday going to be stuck paying it off for him. He wanted nothing less then keep his family safe. He literally took that with him to his grave.

I start getting ready for bed. I grab my water and my bottle of sleep aid pills. When you carry around as much stress and anxiety as me, sleep on you own isn't possible. I depend on the sleep aid medications. After about a half hour and a chapter of my book later, my eyes start to feel heavy. That's my cue to turn off my lamp and crawl under my two blankets on my mattress that's sets right on my hardwood floor. It was around 12:30(AM) and I mentally remember I have work the next day at 09:00(AM) to 17:00 (5PM). For minimum wage. Which was only $10.50/hr but at least I got tips. If it was without the tips, I would be beyond screwed. The tips I single-handedly believe those are what keeping me afloat. I let out a soft sigh as I let me eyes close in my dark room and sleep overcome me.