My name is Sir Robert WottleBottom the Third, and I recently discovered something horrifying, something that would change me for the rest of my life!
It all started when I received a phone call, it sounded like heavy breathing, it said to meet me in the alleyway at midnight, so naturally, I trusted it and went without any weapons, without my phone, and without any possible means of protecting myself. To my surprise, the one who had called me was a dog! It looked like a man wearing a suit, but with the head of a chihuahua! I pooped my pants immediately, but he handed me a paper. After I was done cleaning my pants I read the paper, it was map! A map to some sort of beach.
The next morning, I arrived at the beach, there were so many giant crabs that I wanted to shoot myself, but I toughened up and kept going, once I got to a certain point along the shore, a HUGE eel quickly darted out of the water and swallowed me whole!
It was months before I got out, I had to eat its internal organs to survive. But eventually it belched me out onto what looked like a castle courtyard. So naturally, not being able to do anything else, I explored. The sights I saw were very surreal and majestic, such as a pyramid with an eyeball on it, a top hat, an igloo, some beanstalks, an old abandoned mansion, a carnival and a lush, green forest.
I eventually came to a giant doorway, there was no door, but a giant arch that said "Sparkle World", written in what I assumed to be ketchup. As I went in, very odd things began to happen, my belt was unbuckled and my pants fell down, and every time this happened, I heard millions after millions of laughs coming from nowhere! I was so scared that I pooped myself again, but I forgot to pull up my pants that time, and I wasn't wearing any undies, so I just hoped that this twisted, evil place had a janitor.
It's been a while into the story now, I should probably introduce a plot.
Everything changed when I saw this creature, it was something that had haunted my dreams as a little WottleBottom! It was Creepy Yellow Sausage boy! He ran straight for me, but I was so fast... Or at least that's what I thought, in actuality, I'm a bit tubby, which ended up getting me impaled through the chest with a spear. Remember kids! Always eat your vegetables and exercise regularly!
I woke up in a jail cell.
Creepy Yellow Sausage boy had locked me up, along with three pigs, a distraught looking woman with flaming red hair and a candle-like hat, and Santa. I lifted santa up and smashed him against the cell like a red wrecking ball, and it worked, i instructed the pigs to try and eat Sausage boy, which resulted in them getting killed, but buying me enough time to run away. I quickly set the woman on fire and used her corpse as a bomb that would propel me up into the air, it worked, and I landed back home.
I was relieved, so I made myself a tuna sandwich as a reward. But later that night when I was about to fall asleep, Creepy Yellow Sausage boy walked into my room covered in... HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD!!! And then he killed me. Don't ask how I wrote this story, just roll with it.
The end, hope you enjoyed at least a LITTLE!
