777 words
TW: Suicide
Dan's P.O.V
It was a Friday afternoon Phil wasn't home. All day he has been out I've texted him called him but no answer. Finally around midnight I hear him come in but he wasn't alone he was with a guy. 'Great another one he brought home' I thought as I hear them stumble past my room. Ever Friday it seems like hes bring a different guy home just to fuck. 'Why can't he love me?' is all I could think I've wanted him for so long but he always goes out and hooks up with some guy that he doesn't even know. I'm just not good enough. I get up and walk to the bathroom, I open the cabinet and grab my blade I hid in the back I went and sat in the tub crying. Every cut was deeper than the last. I can still hear Phil and that guy. "He will never love you" "you worthless fagget" "kill yourself hes better off without you" "why are you still breathing fat ass" "maybe he would love you if you weren't so fat" "tubby" "die" "Die" "DIE" the thought kept screaming at him and that's all he could believe right now. 1,2,5,7,8,17,25,30 cuts and Dan Howell is dead.
Morning
Phil woke up and the guy he took home last night was gone. So he went to check up on Dan he felt bad for not at least saying goodnight. He knocked on Dan's door but little did he know Dan's ghost was behind him wishing Phil would have just loved him. Dan didn't answer so Phil opened his door thinking maybe he was still asleep but when he opened the door Dan was no where to be seen. Phil look through the rest of the flat then he seen the bathroom door closed so he knocked no answer he opened the door when he did you stood there frozen there was Dan pale as a ghost and blood everywhere. Phil ran to him to find out he was far to gone. He call for an ambulance he found a note and it said:
Dear Phil,
I am so sorry but you would be so much better with me gone. I just want to tell you that the past years I've been friends with you were the best I have fallen in love with you and I'm so sorry I know you only seem me as a friend but I loved you more than that. Everytime you brought a guy home I cried but I didn't say anything you seemed happy. Don't remember me go find someone else some one better. I'm so glad to have called you my friend. Don't worry I already made a video explaining everything I just need you to post it. Go find another Dan to make videos with you on Dan and Phil. I am so sorry please stay healthy and happy don't give up you are so strong. I love you so much Phil. Find the of your dreams fallow your heart.
Love,
Dan
Phil sat on the floor by Dan crying." Please Dan please wake up" he whispered even tho he know he wasn't going to. Dan Howell was gone forever. He was really gone. "I love you too Dan so much, more than you know..." he whispered to no one Dan heard it tho well his ghost did. Dan stood behind Phil with his hand on his shoulder 'im so sorry Phil I wish I had known' he tried to say.
Years later
Phil hasn't met anyone he hasn't left the house he couldn't believe it Dan was actually gone. The love of his life his soulmate why? Phils friends gave up on trying to him out of the house they bring him food and stuff to drink. Phil only actually eats very little he left YouTube. He re-reads Dans note everyday hoping it is a dream that Dan would walk out of his room in sweats and a jumper with his messy hair and everything would be okay. He crys everyday the only time he will go outside it is to visit Dan. Little dose he know Dan is with him everyday right there by his side Dan hates that Phil is so unhealthy and its all his fault.
Dans P.O.V
I walk around the flat everyday missing it I see Phil crying and it hurts me and I cant help him. This is all my fault I should have talked to him. I am so sorry I did this to you Phil, Im sorry that you found me like that. I wish I would have told him sooner. Goodbye Phil I love you.
