DNYL | NCT Dream

farewell

this isn't really important, but imma do a backstory as to why i wrote this book. read this if you wish to, don't if you do not. :D

yes, dnyl is inspired by nct dream & hrvy's song, but it's also inspired by a few real-life experiences.

you see, i used to have a huge crush on this person. but, key word: used to. let's just call him ej. he and i used to be classmates at my school's math training program back in 2014. to be clear, no, he didn't attend the same school as me.

attending those saturday workshop-trainings could be really tedious, but the moment i started having a teenie tiny crush on him, those saturday trainings became worth it. i remember how i tend to wake up and go to school early just because i get to see him. i mean, honestly, who isn't like that?

we never really talked, and i would just admire him from afar—but reality, he sits in front of me. i remember this one time when we weren't allowed to go home until we finish solving the at least two of the problems given (there were three). i was frustrated because i couldn't get the answers right and i only answered one, and i was this👌🏻 near to crying because those questions were also worth 40 points. he approached me and told me that the answer to number three was 30. (i sTILL HAVE THE QUESTIONNAIRE YA'LL JUST TELL ME IF YOU WANT ME TO PUT IT HERE AKDHAJDHJS)

and then it hit me— not only he was good-looking, he was also willing to help others.

having a crush is really nice, the way you freak out every time he passes in front of you, or he happens to glance at your way. it is indeed, a nice feeling.

but not until you fall inlove.

falling in love means bigger commitment, and bigger responsibility.

most of my friends were saying that i was already in love with him. but love? i don't even know a shit about that love at that moment because i wAS STILL YOUNG LIKE WHAT SORCERY IS THAT???

but then, maybe they were right

and maybe, they were also right at the quote, "you would only know someone's worth the moment he's gone."

and it hit me.

august 18, 2016 (yES IM THAT GOOD AT REMEMBERING DATES THANK U VERY MUCH🤧) when i saw his post, saying that he's in canada.

and then my cousin, who was his classmate, told me that they left. that they migrated to canada. and i was having mixed feelings at that moment.

then i cried. i didn't know why i cried. we never really happened. we rarely talked, so i was wondering why he had that effect on me.

as clichè as it sounds, no one could talk to me, and even my 7-year-bestfriend that time (we're bestfriends for 10 years now) couldn't even talk to me properly because i would only space out.

but then it hit me. again.

why would i be affected by a non-existing relationship? back then, i wished that i could go back to the time wherein i would only admire his back during the training.

i even went to the point that i wrote a book about our non-existing relationship (iT'S STILL ON MY OTHER ACCOUNT AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IT'S SOON TO BE PUBLISHED AJSHAJSHJAHSJSHSJSJSJ).

it was 2017 when i realized that i wouldn't be able to reach anything if i would still hold onto him. i moved on. i had a crush on him for almost four years like what the actual fucc i was that stupid.

few months later, we talked. but as friends.

he would subtly say that he misses me by saying "long time no talk" even though we talked just two days ago. but guess what, i'm not affected anymore.

now, we don't talk anymore (cue charlie puth).

we rarely talk, compared to before wherein a day would not be completed without some short hi's and hello's. now, if we would talk, it would just be him saying that he got some high scores on a test (because he's now a year above me since he transferred to canada, idek how, but yeah he's my senior now ;-;). don't get me wrong, i'm proud of him and everything, but i, myself, can't help but feel stupid.

as of today, june 23, 2019, our last conversation was last may 17, 2019. and it was just me replying to his 'my day' on messenger. plus,,,, he never even replied uwu aksjajshs oKAY I SOUND SO SALTY HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA

the point here is, don't let love ruin you as a person.

if you're in a healthy relationship, treasure it. keep it, because you're lucky to find someone who'll love you as you are. be thankful and contented. trust your partner, and be faithful. remember that being faithful isn't the same as being loyal. also remember that love involves a lot of sacrifices.

love has no boundaries, but it has limitations.

if you're in a toxic relationship, i suggest you to leave it. you don't need toxicity in your life. you don't need someone who'll ruin your life eventually. you don't need someone who wants you to change, nor someone who prohibits you from doing things you like.

do what you want, you do you, and if your partner can't understand that, then s/he was never the one for you.

do not let heartbreaks hinder you from doin something you like. you'll move on eventually, just give it time. time heals everything, remember that. talk to someone you trust, and maybe you can tell him what you're going through. it's better to tell someone what you feel rather than keeping all of your emotions to yourself. if you want, i'm here. you can talk to me anytime, lovelees. please remember that.

everything was planned in the right time. do remember that the right person could come in the wrong timing. if you're really meant for each other, then maybe destiny would find its way just for you to meet again. just wait, someone's meant for you. maybe you won't meet him/her now, but i know someday, you will🙂

moving on was never an easy thing to do, but you can do it through time and acceptance. acceptance is the first step in moving on. always remember than people are always here to listen to you. you may feel alone right now, but people around still loves you. you will never be alone.

remember that you are always loved. remember that. always.❤️

—Rielle