Save Me

Chapter 9

The bacon sizzles in the pan. Liam’s sharp eyes follow my every move. I am under his judgment, and I wait for him to say something. Say anything Liam, I silently plead him, tired of being under his scrutiny. I hear three chairs being scraped back against the floor, almost in unison.

            “Keira, babes, don’t bother making sandwiches. I think we’ll order takeout from Nando’s, as Nialler’s in a mood.” Liam’s voice startles me from my concentration on interpreting the multitude of sounds I am hearing.

            “Oh. Ok, then. I guess I’ll just finish the bacon and put it back in the fridge, as I’m not hungry for it. Maybe I’ll finish some of the salad I made earlier instead.” My feelings hurt, I try to hide them. I am surprised at how they picked Niall over me, but my sensible side is quick to squash my surprise. Of course the 4 boys picked Niall. I’ve been here maybe 24 hours, and they only know my name.

            “Keira.” Liam’s voice pleads, “I don’t mean to hurt your feelings because-“

            “Mm, sure you didn’t,” I mutter under my breath, praying he won’t hear.

            “-As I was saying, I was under the impression you’d eat with us. None of us really know you at all, so I was thinking we could play a few cheesy get-to-know-you games, you know? And maybe Eleanor and Dani could come over, Perrie if she’s not too busy in the studio with Little Mix…” His voice tapers off, leaving a few of my questions unanswered.

            “Sorry if this sounds really stupid, but who are Eleanor and Dani and Perrie? I’ve heard the names before, my friend is always on about how gorgeous they are, but I can’t remember who they are. Sorry,” My cheeks slightly redden, feeling a little stupid that I don’t remember this obviously important fact. I assume that they are the sisters of one of the boys, most likely Liam.

            “Oh, sorry, I forgot. You’re not one of those super hardcore directioners who know the exact times we were born at,” He chuckles quietly, reminiscing at some old memory. “Eleanor Calder is Louis’ girlfriend. Perrie Edwards is Zayn’s, but they haven’t been dating for that long, actually. The beautiful, amazing, sexy, talented Danielle Peazer is my girlfriend.”

            I sigh at how much he obviously loves and respects Danielle. I wish I could have a relationship like that, where I can be sure that my boyfriend acknowledges me even when I’m not around. All my so-called relationships so far have been dead ends. Nothing has ever worked out as I back out at the last minute.

            I smile at Liam, and with a nod of my head say, “Yeah, I’d love to meet them! And what time will the Nando’s be here? God, I haven’t had real, good, greasy food in what feels like forever!” After realizing that I said the last part out loud, I blink and I turn quickly, burying my head in the fridge in embarrassment.

            Liam chuckles and starts to walk away. “6 o’clock. Nialler’s probably already ordered it.” He shouts while plodding away. His footsteps echo through the near silent house, and I can’t stop the smile creeping on my face. I slam the door to the fridge shut and that sound, too, echoes through the house. I straighten up the kitchen, picking up Niall’s fallen chair. The cleanup process that typically renders me fatigued and bored to tears is unusually short and simple. After deciding that the kitchen passes my quick lookover, I start on a hike throughout the massive house to find the boys and see if I could watch a movie.

            I walk into the dining room, a reminder of this morning. So much has been packed into one day that it is hard to stomach it. I spend no more time than necessary searching that room, and I push the thoughts of photography and my crushed dream behind me.

No matter how hard I try to calm this oncoming panic attack, I start to feel boxed in. As I slide my feet over the hardwood floors faster and faster and faster and faster, I breathe in, remembering what my counselor told me.

            “Nothing I can do to change it now. There is absolutely nothing I can do to change this situation; it is out of my control. Whatever happens happens. I need to accept my place in the world. That which I cannot change, I must accept. That which I cannot accept, I must change.” I am intent on reciting my rehearsed mantra to soothe myself that I don’t realize that I have stopped walking. Once the chant has ended, I hear heavy breathing behind me. As my feet slide to a quick stop, a heavy object smacks into me from behind and startles me. I am pushed forward, with not a spare second to react before slamming into the ground at a terrifying speed.

            “Oh my goodness! Keira! I was just turning the corner; I didn’t see you there! Are you okay? Oh god, and after you had such a bad fall earlier this morning, are you okay? God, I’m so stupid, why am I so messed up, why wasn’t paying attention, I’m so stupid. This is ridiculous!”

            I stand up, gingerly getting to my feet. I rub my sore hip, feeling the point of impact. I turn around, facing the voice, “It’s fine, really.” Zayn’s dark eyes connect with mine. They are filled with guilt and sorrow, too much for just knocking a girl down.

            “Zayn,” my hand, as if I’m walking on eggshells, slowly rests on his left shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. I see it in your eyes, but honestly it’s fine, okay?”

            A smile breaks through his tense, guilt-laced face. He grabs my hand in a friendly manner, and tugs me along.

            “The boys and I are going to eat dinner upstairs, in that kitchen. As my memory serves, we never finished the tour last night. Maybe, after dinner, we could continue that? Also, you need to get to a doctor about the blackout you had today. That’s not a good sign.” Zayn offers up a caring smile and leads me towards the stair. Our feet step up each stair in unison, and when we reach the top step, his hand drops out of mine. With one glance, he communicates thoroughly that he knows what it would look like if we walked into the room holding hands, even though it would be the wrong impression.

            I walk down the hallway, trying to listen into the boys’ conversations. I overhear a few words exchanged, containing profanity and, well, mostly profanity.

            “They’re playing a computer game,” Zayn provides me with an explanation.

            “Gotcha.” I nod my head in appreciation, and then I take three more steps through an arched door. I arrive at the upstairs living room, almost a replica of the downstairs one. Four, disheveled and smiling faces stare up at me.

            Niall opens his mouth, beginning to say, “I-“

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a/n--- hey :) thanks to @ktroxasalways for pressing me to upload and write. I had an AAAAAAWFUL case of writers block this weekend, after getting her message. :) fan, comment, vote, thanks :)