Fire Escape | l.h

no. 1

I kicked a rock as I walked out of school, hoping that my parents weren't home. I didn't want them to be there when I did it. But then again, maybe I did. Maybe I wanted to see their faces when I throw myself off the fire escape 6 floors from the earth. Maybe I wanted them to know they were partially the reason I wanted to die. But if they were there, they'd talk me out of it. My dad is a lawyer, so he has a way with words. I silently decided I'd do it while they were gone, because it would be easier that way. Without having to hear them try and convince me to stay.

"Luke!"

I turned upon hearing my name, to see Calum Hood running up to me. Calum was the quarterback of the football team, and simply enough, the most "popular" person at my school. I wondered what he wanted. If he hit me at all, it was usually before school. He and his friends did it regularly.

"Hey, Calum."

"Hi, how are you?" he asked.

Terrible.

"Um, good, I guess."

He smiled, fake of course.

"That's great! Hey, you think you could come to a party at my house tonight?" He held his signature smirk.

My eyebrows knit together. Why was Calum inviting me to a party? Was he turning a new leaf?

"What?" I asked.

"A party. My house at 9."

Hah. With luck, I'll be long gone.

"I, uh, I can't."

He smirked.

"Why not, Hemmings?"

I kept my gaze on the ground.

"I have plans."

With this, he burst into laughter.

"With who, Luke? You have no friends!"

I gnawed on my lip to keep from screaming at him.

I lifted my head at glared at him with every ounce of hate I had.

"Fuck off, Calum." I said through gritted teeth.

I started walking away, and he yelled at me.

"Just so you know, that invitation was a joke!" he spat.

"I said fuck off, Hood!" I yelled.

I turned around momentarily to see him walking the other way, so I tried to calm myself down.

It'll all be over tonight, Luke.

I looked around at all the places and things I'd never see again. In New York, there wasn't a lot of nature, as in trees and such, but I thought the skyscrapers and lights were beautiful. I noticed that if you really looked at or listened to something, it looked or sounded more alive than usual, no matter if it was originally alive or not. Like the people hurrying down the sidewalk, or the honking horns in traffic jams, the noise of conversation all around you. It being my last time hearing or seeing these things, I walked really slow, taking it all in. By the time I reached the apartment building, it was 5pm.

It had become increasingly cold out, so I hustled into the building and up the stairs to the 6th floor. I opened the door and unfortunately, my parents were home.

"Luke! How was school?" My mother asked, still looking at her magazine.

"It was school. A living hell."

Just like here, I thought.

She sighed, getting off the couch and walking into the kitchen.

"Why must you always use such disrespectful language for everything you say?!"

I shrugged as my dad entered the room.

"What's he doing now, honey?" he said.

I was getting angry. Why was I always the one doing something?!

"He's so disrespectful, Andrew. He can't use proper english!"

It was ONE word!

I gritted my teeth.

"You both know I'm right here, don't you!" I yelled.

They turned and looked at me. This was an everyday routine. I hated it.

"Yes, Luke. We know you're there. Maybe you can learn something from this." My mother said.

"Learn something?! Okay, yeah. I learned something. I learned that I hate you both! Go fuck yourselves!" I yelled, going to my room and slamming the door, locking it behind me.

I collapsed onto my bed in tears. I was never enough for anybody. Not even my own parents.

**

I laid there for a while, thinking and wondering when they'd leave. They hadn't even tried to come in my room.

I heard a loud knock, and then my mom's voice.

"Luke, we're going to a business dinner and won't be back tonight. We'll see you tomorrow morning."

I didn't reply. I simply waited for the door to close behind them, and then wrote my note.

Dear Mom & Dad,

As you could probably tell, I've not been happy lately. In fact, I've hated everything and everyone. Including you. But that's okay, because obviously the feeling is mutual. I have not a friend in this world, and I can't even count on my parents. Sucks, huh? If life is this miserable, I don't want to live it. You don't need me anyway. You need to have time for business meetings, dinners, and formal parties. The classy life. Not have to deal with a burden like me. So I'm taking myself off of your hands. Goodbye. In case this actually hurts you, know I'm where I want to be. Anywhere but here. Not that anyone cares. Anyways, I'm wasting time writing when I could be flying off of the fire escape. So again, Goodbye and Good Riddance.

With love and hate,

Your burden Luke.

I left it on my bed, and wiped away the tears that I didn't notice had fallen. I opened my window, and stuck my head out into the cold, New York air. I remembered the first night my family spent in New York. It was the day we moved here from Austrailia in 2003. I was 7, and New York was the biggest place I'd ever seen. This being before my parents found a hatred towards me, we sat by a fire place drinking hot chocolate and telling eachother stories. That's the best memory I have of my parents now.

I wiped the thought away and stepped out onto the fire escape.