Four Walls (Book One) ✔️

Chapter Fifteen

We're only a few weeks into sophomore year—five, to be specific—but every single one of them has been remarkable.

And I owe a lot of that to Jose.

I can't give him all the credit, but he deserves the majority of it. He's incredible. He's my new person to run to, my new reason to get out of the house.

He's my boyfriend. God, it still feels weird to say that.

I never imagined I'd become a girl who grew so infatuated with a boy that he consumed her every waking thought, yet here I am. I'm that girl. I'm the female lead in a teen dramedy. I'm a walking cliché.

When I close my eyes, I dream of Jose. When I wake up, he's the first thing I think about, the first person I want to talk to. When I'm with him, it's like the rest of the world disappears, and the only people who exist are me and him. I know that being attracted to someone so intensely can cause chemical changes to the brain. My neurons have released more dopamine in the past month than they have in my entire life. I'm unsure which I'm more frightened of: that these feelings will never fade, or what will happen to me when they eventually do.

Damian doesn't like Jose, which doesn't shock me. I recall the fight we had last year when he first showed interest in Haven.

"Look, this is ridiculous. You don't like Jessica. You don't like Haven. Am I even allowed to look at other girls, or am I supposed to devote all of my time and attention to you?"

"Now you're being unfair. I barely know Haven, and the reasons I dislike Jessica have nothing to do with you. You're allowed to spend time with whomever you please."

"Well, I'm glad we established that, because I think I might want to get to know Haven better, after all. Maybe I'll ask her to hangout sometime."

"Go right ahead. You don't need my permission."

I can't stand Jessica, and I didn't care for Haven at first. Perhaps Damian and I will never be able to accept the fact that we might find someone more important to us than each other.

Nevertheless, what I told Damian applies to me as well: I don't need his permission. If I can't deter him from pursuing the cheerleading squad, then he sure as hell can't stop me from being with Jose.

As I sit in the cafeteria and pick at a slice of over-cooked pizza, I hear footsteps behind me. Without looking, I know they belong to Jose—Damian is a lot heavier and walks with lead feet—so I turn around and smirk, spoiling his attempt to scare me.

He frowns. "How'd you know I was coming?"

"I'm a genius, remember?"

"Apparently." He bends down and kisses me. "How's my girl doing?"

"Sore," I admit. "My neck hurts. I think I twisted it in my sleep last night."

"Ooh, that's no good. Come here." He puts his hands on my shoulders and begins to massage my tight muscles. "Let me know if I'm hurting you, alright?"

"No, that... that feels good." I close my eyes, reveling in his touch. I wish we were alone and not stuck in a crowded lunchroom.

"Uh, hi, Layla."

I open my eyes and see Damian with his arms crossed.

For once, I didn't hear him coming.

"Hey, man!" Jose says cheerfully. "Want to sit with us?"

"No thanks," Damian tosses back. "See you later, Layla."

As he storms off, Jose falls into the seat next to me and pouts his lips.