Four Walls (Book One) ✔️

Chapter Sixty-Three

Dumbfounded, I stare at Jessica. In a black hoodie, gray sweatpants, and running shoes, she looks like she just finished a workout.

Except I think the only exercise she completed was sprinting to my house at one o'clock in the morning.

"You want to talk?" I ask. "Right now?"

She nods her head. "Is that alright?"

"I mean, it's late."

"You were already up, clearly."

I shrug my shoulders and step aside, allowing her to come into the house.

I can feel her eyes on me—her big, bright hazel eyes that I've gotten lost in so many times before. She's waiting for me to say something.

The only problem is I have no idea what to say.

"Damian," Jessi finally whispers, "I know things haven't exactly been... good between us lately."

I nod my head in agreement. What else am I supposed to do?

"I also know you're hiding something," she states. "Please, Damian, just be honest with me."

What do I tell her? Do I reveal my secret and risk exposing myself? Or do I keep lying and eventually push her away for good?

"Jessi," I say quietly, "I love you so much. I—"

"Don't," she interrupts. "Whenever you're about to lie, you always preface it by telling me how much you love me. I don't want to hear that."

She's right. I seem to think that by preceding a dishonest statement with a declaration of love, it will lessen my guilt. It's never worked.

"Look, you've been keeping secrets since the day we met," she goes on. "I never pushed it because I figured you'd tell me when you were ready. I didn't want to be that nosy, annoying girlfriend who was always up your ass, but—"

"But there's only so much you can take," I finish, deflating like a popped balloon.

"Yeah," she murmurs softly.

I let out a sigh and take a seat at the kitchen table. I've been in love with her since I was twelve. We've been together since we were sixteen. We graduate high school in three months.

She's one of the most important people in my life, and that's why I can't burden her with the knowledge of my secret.

It's not that I don't think she could handle it, but I've seen what keeping my secret does to people. My mom hasn't been with anyone since my dad because she's afraid of letting a stranger into our home. Ada Fitzpatrick was locked up three years ago because she went public about being able to talk to ghosts. She's dead now.

While I don't fear for my own life, I'm scared for the people around me. The people I care about. If I tell Jessica the truth, I put her in danger. Just by being around her, I put her in danger.

I can already feel the tears stinging my eyes as I begin to say, "Jessi, I... I think we need to talk."

"Yeah, that's what I came here for," she says with a half-smile.

"No, I mean... I think...." I pause, fill my lungs with air, and blurt out, "I think we need to break up. We need to end this."

Her eyes widen. "Damian, are you... are you serious?"

Somberly, I nod my head. "Yeah, I am."

"I see. Basically, what you're saying is that breaking up with me is better than being honest with me?" she demands, wiping what I assume is a fallen tear from her cheek.

"That's not why. It's just...." But it's exactly why. She's not wrong at all. "I'm really sorry, Jessi. I think it has to be this way."

"If you end this now," she whispers, "there's no going back. In three weeks or months or years, or when you're feeling lonely and thinking about the past, you can't call me up and try to get back together. If you end this, this is the end." She meets my gaze with glassy eyes. "You understand that, right?"

In this moment, my heart breaks. It isn't because I'm losing her, because I've known this would happen for a while. It's because I'd done the one thing I swore I'd never do.

I hurt her.

"I... understand," I finally say.

"Fine." She walks to the door. "I know my way out."

I stand up. "Jessi, I—"

"Save it, Damian."

"Okay."

Without another word, she leaves.

I lower myself back down and bury my head in my hands. I don't cry. I just sit there, completely stunned.

What the hell just happened?

I don't fight back the tears as I sprint down the winding roads of my hometown. Usually, the dark, quiet streets are peaceful. Calming, even. Tonight, they're just a reminder of how lonely I really am.

I wasn't anticipating a break-up. I thought maybe, just maybe, he'd finally tell me the truth. I thought we'd mend the broken pieces in our relationship and come out stronger than ever before.

I guess I thought wrong.

We're as over as low-rise jeans. There's no coming back from this.

When I reach my house, I sit on the porch swing for a while, giving myself sufficient time to calm down. I can't let Aunt Heather see me like this. After she found Layla's note, she's been a mess. As a lawyer, she knows the letter is circumstantial evidence at best, but as a grieving sister, she wants justice for her brother and can't seem to let it go.

She told me not to hangout with Layla anymore. At first, I didn't listen.

But after seeing the way she and my now ex-boyfriend held each other yesterday, I no longer give a fuck.

Let them keep their secrets. Let them deny their feelings for each other. In a few months, I'm leaving for Chicago. I need to focus on myself, on my future, not on people who don't care about me and likely never did.

Maybe this break-up was a blessing in disguise, after all.

A/N:
Okay, I feel bad for Jessi. I really do. She was so essential to Layla's character development and honestly isn't a bad person.
BUT I'm so fucking excited for the next few chapters 😉😉
Ily all so much! Thanks for reading with me❣️