Love, Hate & Mr.Player | ✔

[35] Complicated Mr. Player

Chapter 35
 

[Alex's POV]

"I'm sorry Josh but this isn't working out for me, okay? I mean you're sweet and all, and I really appreciate all that you did for me on our date but honestly I don't think we'll work out. You're a sweet guy, you'll get some sweet girl, just not me. So sorry, I don't think we should continue dating." I said looking straight into Josh William's (a guy in my history class) eyes.

Bitch. Bitch. Bitch.

My mind was chanting continuously. I am such a bitch.

Josh had been nothing but a total sweet heart last Saturday when I'd gone on a date with him. He'd taken me to the movies and brought me ice cream and a cute teddy bear. I'd been quite surprised that he wanted to go out with me. He'd just walked up to me during one of our history classes and asked me out. I was going to refuse. In fact, I ahdn't even heard what he had said the first time, my mind was occupied with Dylan. So Josh had to repeat and I didn't want to say yes, but Tia my best friend said yes on my behalf.

Like really?!

"You should try a couple of other fishes from the sea, alright? They're not dead! An oil-spill did not kill them. Forget about Dylan for awhile, okay? Go out with some guys, kiss some guys, just let go and maybe you'll realize that Dylan isn't as awesome as you think." Tia had said after I'd got mad at her for saying yes to him.

"Tia c'mon, really?!"

"Yes! Have you seen your face lately? You're in this I'm-so-depressed mode. Thats not you, Alex! Ever since Stacey and Dylan have got together, you're just so sad"

"What else do you expect Tia, I'm in love with him!"

Oh god. I can't believe I said that out loud.

"Aww...innocent, young Alex is in love! I know you love him, okay? I'm not telling you to not love him. I'm just saying it's better to focus on other 'things' while he's with that bitch, that's all"

"Really Tia, really?!" I said, exasperated.

"Yes! Trust me, it'll be good for you. Please?!"

And then I had to give up and agree to go on this date. Turned out, it was fun, really. I had fun and I did laugh a lot that night. But I didn't want to pointlessly date some guy I didn't feel anything for. I couldn't kiss some guy I didn't feel absolutely anything for. It would be like leading him on or something, because honestly I couldn't love anyone else. My heart already belongs to Dylan.

Dylan...

“Please Alex, give me one more chance, and I’ll prove you that I’m the kind of guy you’re looking for” he pleaded.

 You’re not Dylan.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know I’m not the most beautiful or hottest girl out there, but I’ve got a couple of admirers. And what do I do? Instead of giving them a chance, trying to give love a shot, I turn them all down because of this one guy I want—Dylan.

But I don’t want a shot at love. I just want to be with Dylan.

Yeah, that’s it. I mean I have my whole life with me to fall in love with some amazing guy, I don’t want any complications now. But if it comes down to loving Dylan, I wouldn’t mind because…because I love him. Because I love being around him and he is so amazing…

“Alex??” He prompted.

“Uh…listen Josh, no. I don’t want to continue with this. I figured out I have other things to focus on. Trust me, you’re really sweet and cute but…please, just try to understand” I said, sounding desperate and lame at the same time. When it comes down to turning down guys, I hate to see the sad helpless expressions on their face. My heart kind of crumples up when I see anyone like that, and to think I’m the one causing it…