Light The Way (And I'll Follow) || Spirk

Chapter 6

"First Officer's Log, Stardate 1812.0. The Captain has returned to his duties once more and is currently going through debrief with Admiral Nogura. Meanwhile, the Enterprise remains docked at Earth's spacedock while we await our next orders.

"I've come to realize that, while my meld succeeded in saving the captain's life, it did come with several side-effects. I am able to sense the captain's emotions when he is in close proximity, as well as feel certain strong reactions even if the distance between us is much greater. I will make sure it does not hinder my ability to serve as science officer and XO.

"It is odd, however, that the bond is as strong as it is. A bond with this intensity is not usually formed with merely one or two mind melds, and I have no explanation for it's strength. If it does not lessen in the following months, I will be forced to consult a Vulcan specialist to have it removed."

-

It was odd. The bond was so strong in Spock's mind that he often confused his captain's emotions with his own; the only assurance he had that they weren't was Kirk himself, who never failed to clearly show his emotions with his expressions and actions. Whenever Spock felt a surge of anxiety, he'd look over to see the captain pacing behind his chair; a surge of happiness, the captain was speaking to McCoy, laughing about something the doctor had said. Spock wasn't used to suddenly feeling so strongly.

More importantly, the bond didn't seem deterred by distance—at least, not as much as it should. Even as Spock was working in the science lab, he'd be hit randomly by emotions that weren't his own, yet when he asked the computer, it let him know Kirk was still on the bridge; multiple decks away from him. Spock had heard of bonds strong enough to range galaxies, but those were official bonds, placed during koon-ut-la between a betrothed couple. Spock's own official bond had been broken long ago, but that should not explain the ease with which the one with Kirk had formed, nor did it make the strength of it any more logical.

Spock wasn't certain whether Kirk was aware of this bond. With humans' own erratic emotions, noticing the presence of another mind was no easy feat; Spock's mother had compared it to the feeling of a warm hug or (when her bondmate's emotions were negative) like a heavy weight was always resting on her shoulders. It was barely noticeable to her until she had fully learned of its meaning and importance.

Professionally speaking, Spock should notify his captain of the bond's existence. Yet Spock could not explain his reluctance to do so.

It was well into the night and Spock was meditating—he didn't require sleep for another 21 hours, so he'd decided to spend it trying to better differentiate his own mind from Kirk's. He was abruptly shaken out of it when a jolt of fear shot through him.

His eyes were open instantly, scanning his quarters for any intruder to have set off a self-defence reaction like this but finding no one; he was still alone. The only door in the room was locked, meaning not a single crew member could enter without his permission (apart from the captain, of course, who had an override command for every room on the ship) so it wasn't a surprise that there weren't any intruders.

Kirk's emotion, then. Spock quickly checked the time (0230) and wondered what had kept the captain awake at a time like this, especially with such a strong emotional reaction. He listened closely (Kirk's quarters were conveniently located right next to his own) and soon enough, there was movement in the room next to him—a soft hiss as the doors to Kirk's quarters opened and the sound of footsteps as the captain walked down the corridor.

The fear seemed to linger, even when Kirk had supposedly made his way to somewhere else on the ship. Spock had tried, and failed, to go back to meditating; he realized that Kirk's fear was this constant throbbing in the back of his head, and made his heart feel heavy.