Ascension

Chapter 44

~Tionne~

I did my best not to let what Justice told me about Marcus affect me, but we both knew it did. It did on so many levels because Justice is a sensitive subject for me. And not because of how we broke up. Its deeper than that, so much deeper. It goes back to the day that I walked in on her at Vin's house. I was a self-proclaimed badass I'd seen a lot and done even more but nothing would have ever prepared to walk in on a person so willing to take their life. I couldn't understand it and it wasn't until we really spent more time together that I realized that she was hurting. She was hurting from the past how her father treated her, how her mother left her when she needed her the most, how she dealt with nearly being gang raped by some little punk niggas when she was 15. Everything that could go wrong in her life went wrong and she didn't know how to handle it. But I taught her, I taught her how to love herself how to not let shit bother her. But in all of that teaching I also left a scar on her heart as well. One that I knew it would take a long time for me to try and heal her from.

The same way it would take a long time for her to heal me of the scar she left on my heart. Leaving the way, she did, took a bigger toll on me than anyone could ever imagine. It was like I was that little girl all over again waiting for that person to come back and they didn't. I harbored a lot of ill will and said a lot of things about her that I didn't mean and I will have to apologize for that, but I also realize that I need her more than she could ever imagine. She's my other half, I mean in areas that I am weak she's strong the same way in areas she's weak I am strong. Our relationship is flawed but it's ours and it always will be. I looked at the sonogram as we sat waiting for our flight to Canada. I couldn't believe she was giving me the ultimate gift. A baby! A baby boy at that, something we'd talked about for so long. We always talked about wanting a boy first just so he could watch out for his little sisters. Yeah, I said sisters, we wanted 1 boy and 2 girls or 2 boys and 1 girl either way we wanted 3 kids, that was our goal amount.

It's that a sonogram of the baby Chill said sitting next to me? Yeah it is I said handing her the sonogram. Did yall find out the sex yet? We do but we're waiting till we get all of our family together in one place. Until then gummy bear will stay a secret. Gummy bear she said laughing. Yeah, we have this thing about nick names. It's cute, do yall's family know that yall are back together? Who? Your families? Oh yeah that wasn't going to be a secret, our families are way to invested in our relationship. They like that she said laughing. Let me say this if it was up to them, we'd never broke up in the first place, but you know sometime separation is good, it puts things in perspective. That's deep she said handing me the sonogram back.

How is my nephew, I said putting the sonogram picture back up? He's great, growing so fast, I mean one minute he's a baby next thing I know he's sitting up and holding his own bottle. That's so crazy it's seems just like yesterday you had him. I know, can you believe he's gonna one in a few months. I look forward to seeing him grow up and see his personality develop. Even if he turns out like Dallas? Ugh him she said rolling her eyes. They broke up a few weeks after she had her son and were still on a rocky path of co-parenting. I love my baby but he will not be like his father ever. Ok chill! I am serious, the world only needs one Dallas and we barely need the one we got she said laughing.

What's it like having a little boy? It's different than having a little girl I assume, but boys are fun though. You have can rough house with them and dress them up too. Did you ever want a girl first? What woman doesn't want a little mini me running around, I just figured God knew I couldn't handle having a little girl first. True, I don't know if we could handle two little Chili's running around here. You're funny, just wait till this baby comes, everything you know as life will change. I am looking forward to the change I said smiling. You look so happy! What you mean? I mean this is the happiest I've seen you in years literally. Has it been that long? The day that she walked out of your life was the day we saw a different Tionne, one that wasn't the same. She's good for you Ti! I know said nodding my head.