Something I Forgot

Pain

There comes a time when you can't take it anymore. But why we still try is another story. I loved you with everthing I had and more but it just wasn't good enough for you. You made me cry and I allowed you to hurt me. I'm tellin everyone how much you mean to me and how I'll always do right by you but you out in the streets playin me. I tell people how happy we are but here I am crying over you---- again. My hair fallin out, weight up and down, can't eat, can't sleep--------can't do nothin but think about you. You've done everything to me that I could ever imagine and I always accept it and take you back. Sometimes, I wonder why you're still here.
Then again,
Sometimes all you can do is wonder.

I slowly put the letter back down. She couldn't have left me---- not here, and definetly not now.

I walked into our bedroom where she usually sat, awaiting my arrival, to find it empty. All her clothes, perfumes and belongings gone. The only thing left was our picture together. I picked it up and saw how happy we were then. As I put the picture back down, I felt something cold on the back. I turned the frame around and saw her engagement ring taped on the back.

I slowly put the frame back down as it hit me that she was gone---- and possibly forever. I gave her everything, how could she have just up and left me? Who else could take care of her like me? She needs me. I need her.

The tears began to stream down my face like two mini rivers. I lived for her, how could she up and leave me. I picked up the phone and dialed her number.

Ring, Ring, Ring. Ring, Ring, Ring. "Hello, you've reached-"

Ring, Ring, Ring. "What can I do for you?" a voice answered.

"Where's Anastasia? I need to speak with her."

"She dosen't wanna be bothered with you right now, Ant, and can you really blame her?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You figure it out." Click.

I stared dazingly at the phone. What did she mean, "How could I blame her?" I gave her everthing that she wanted, why would she leave.

I popped in a dvd and laid on the bed. I reminisced on everthing that we shared----- how could she let it all go? She seemed so happy, but I guess things aren't always what they seem.

I fell asleep thinking about her.

"Wutup Ant. You already know who this is. Um... What happened to us? You used to be my everything and I used to feel complete with you. When did I stop being enough?
I tried to make myself a better person for you, but you never noticed. The more that I changed for you, the more that I started losing myself. It came to the point that I didn't even know who I was anymore. I just couldn't do it anymore. The streets was always your number one love so I left you with them. Hopefully, they'll treat you right and keep you warm at night.
I'll call you again someday, but for right now, I need to be alone. I'm sorry for the way that I left but it was the only way that I could. You know that you would've never let me leave but this is what I had to do for me. I love you, I really do, but I just wonder if you really love me. Granted you say that you do, but at the same time, you cheat on me like I don't have feelings. I know about all those girls that you cheat on me with. I cry, I suck it up and I deal with it. I can't do that anymore. I need to be the one and only, I need to be loved. But for right now-- Huh? Yeah.... Ok. I gotta go. I'll get back at you. Love You."

I closed my cell phone shut. She knew about the other girls-------- Why didn't she ever say anything? How could she think that I didn't love her? The whole world knew I loved her and I still love her, forever and always.

I picked up the phone and called Tasha. She always knew how to make me feel better.

"Wutup Shorty. What you doin?"

"Hey Daddy. When you gonna come pay me a visit? I miss you."

"Get ready. I'm on my way."

I hung up the phone and hopped in the shower. I washed away every thought of Anastasia. She was my past and I would make her my future one day. But for now, I had to get back to the routine---- get back to my life. As I washed, I pushed every emotion of Anastasia to a small corner of my head and pushed the hood part of my life to the main part.

I was a player and no girl was gonna hold me back and fuck up the game that it took me so long to conquer. I refused to watch it happen. As I got out the shower, I thought about my game and how I would play it. I had to keep playing and now I had to win. The love of my life is on the line.

I pulled up to Tasha house right on time. I looked around my ride to find her key. I found it along the dashboard, next to a picture of Anastasia. I ripped the picture of Anastasia down and threw it in the back of my black Escalade. I took Tasha's keys and left.
As I entered Tasha's house, I could smell her cooking. Fried chicken and greens. It smelled like Shorty was in the kitchen giving it the business. I walked into the living room where Tasha laid on the couch with a red and black negligee with red pumps. Her shoulder length brown hair was pinned up in a nice style.

"Hi Daddy," she said seductively as she got off the couch and headed my way. "How have you been? I ain't here from you in a while."

"I've been a little busy but I'm back now and I'm focused on you."

A smile crossed her chocolate face. My words meant everything to her, yet nothing at the same time. I glanced at her body, from her pinned up hair to her C cup breasts, down to her freshly manicured toes. My dick got hard just thinking about what she had in store for me. She slowly walked towards me and put her hands around my neck while I put my hands around her petite waist. I began to kiss her passionately as she climbed on my lap. I strategically took off her clothes as she carefully pulled off my shirt and unbuckled my belt. I stared at her in all her glory. Damn!, her body was amazing. She slowly kissed my neck working her way down. She pulled out my hard member and began to jerk it off. She started off slowly, then with time she picked up speed. She stuck the head into her mouth and began to tease me with her tongue. I closed my eyes and prepared myself to be brought to ecstasy. She deep throated my shit like it was the last icee on earth in the middle of a heat wave. I moaned uncontrollably. I felt him jerk and we both knew it was coming. Before I could let out another sound, I busted into her mouth.

She came up with a devilish smile on her face. The smile that shows just how much she wanted me. I pulled her up to my face and started kissing on her neck. I turned her over and climbed on top. She wrapped her legs around my waist, preparing for entry. I kissed all around her neck, listening to her moans. I inhaled her scent. It was so relaxing, so memorizing, it was the smell that always turned me on. As I was going to enter, my dick got soft. I recognized the smell. It was the smell of my baby, Anastasia's favorite fragrance, Baby Phat's Goddess.

I quickly arose and began getting dressed. How could I be here at a time like this? This was the reason why she was gone in the first place, and this foolish shit wasn't going to bring her back home.