Two Months Later
Toby has been gone for nearly three months now. I still don't know how to handle myself and I still cry when I look at his house next to mine, but I'm better. I find him in pieces of books, song lyrics, colors and places. It comforts me. I think I'm finally finding myself again.
His funeral crushed me. I tried to make a speech but all that came out was a noise of despair before I started scream crying at the stupid world for taking him away. My parents waltzed me away and I apologized to his parents afterwards. They hugged me and said they understood.
I don't cry myself to sleep as often. Newal still stays, which helps, and I sleep better. My eyelids aren't as heavy anymore. Neither are my shoulders. Some of the weight has been lifted away.
I still feel guilty. It is, in a sense, my fault, but how could I control it? It should've been me.
And his words always ring in my ears. More than a friend. I never felt the same and it pains me. Was he always waiting for me? Should I have given me a chance?
But, now there's no chance. He's gone. Anything that could've been never happened, and I have Newal.
Newal holds me tight when it gets bad, saying everything is okay. And I know those are lies. But still I calm down in his arms.
I think about all those people who have been hurt during this mess, including me. We'll never be the same, we've seen too much to go back to the same.
The media says we are heroes, that we've saved lives. But I couldn't even save Toby's. My best friend.
My emotions are such a rollercoaster. Up and down and all around, making me sick to my stomach. It's a process to get to upwards, to see the good. But Zara calls me, proposing the idea of a double date.
And slowly but surely, I'm working my way to the top. Happiness is waiting for me. That's what Toby would want. That's what Newal and Zara want. That's what everyone in our gang wants: happiness.
And I love them for it, and I will never stop.
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A/N: This chapter is a rollercoaster more than anything but #whatever.
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ActionArabella Harmen has always wanted to go on an adventure. She wants to be brought into an exciting world like her favorite book characters and wishes on every star to be involved in something excited. And when it happens she's totally unprepared. Ar...
