Uncharted Territory

Chapter 3

Not sure where to go, I find myself riding down I-630, emotionless and incoherent to my surroundings. My phone is blowing up. Everyone is calling. I take the Main Street exit and take a detour to the downtown area. “Well aren’t you beautiful!” the hotel receptionist says, greeting as I come through the sliding doors in my wedding down. I don’t acknowledge her statement. “I need a room for the weekend; check out on Monday morning” I state dryly. She quickly books my room and hands over my hotel key. “Should we be expecting the rest of your bridal party soon? If so, I can have valet park your vehicles and we’ll do our best to get your rooms on the same floor” “It’s only me” I force a smile, trying my best not to say anything further that would make me look like a crazy person. She nods and I head for the elevator. I open the door to my hotel room on the 3rd floor and total darkness welcomes me. I flip the light on as I step inside to find that she’s hooked me up with a king suite with a kitchenette. I drop my bags on the floor and head straight for the bathroom. I stand in the mirror, staring at myself, trying to understand what’s transpired today. I reach back and unzip my dress, letting it fall to the floor. I step out of it and step into the walk-in shower, letting the cool water trickle over my body until it warms. As the water runs down, I feel more vulnerable than I did standing up there on that altar. Tears draw from my eyes like water flowing over the edge of a waterfall. I think I needed this moment to release, to allow myself to feel and start the process of healing. Fresh out of the shower, I drag the dress from the bathroom to the living area of the hotel room and open the sliding door leading out to the balcony. I open the door and step out. I look around, and everyone is just going on about their business as if there isn’t a care in the world. “You’ve gotta let go” I mumble, wiping away some leftover tears from the shower. I pull the gown close to me, squeezing it in my arms. I close my eyes, flip the tail end over the balcony, and release it. I don’t wait and watch it fall. I turn my back and walk back in, closing the sliding door behind me. ↔ I wake up several hours later. It’s pitch black outside and well below 30 degrees. Fortunate for me, I packed some spare clothing before heading to the church. It’s only sweats, a tee, and a pull over but it will have to do. I throw on my Nike’s from the bag I brought and head downstairs to the hotel lobby. “May I help you?” the receptionist asks. It’s a different person this time. “Yes, I’m looking to see if you have any food recommendations for me? I’m from the area but I know lately they’ve added some places here downtown, and I’m not too sure of the locations” I ask politely, sure to look away so that we don’t fully make eye contact. I don’t want anyone questioning my swollen, red eyes. I can’t bear talking about things just now. “Uh, yes, sure. We actually have a full restaurant here in the hotel just off the lobby. They serve just about anything you could imagine and there’s a full bar as well” she explains, pointing in the direction of the restaurant. “Thank you. I’ll give that a try” I smile, walking away. This actually works perfectly. I can drink as much as I want without having to worry about getting back to the hotel safely. As instructed, I leave the lobby, taking a left and then a right. The restaurant seems to be open to the public. Even better, there’s not many people here and there is plenty room at the bar. I choose the seat over on the left end of the bar, everyone else is on the right end. “What can I get for you?” “Uh, two shots of patron, please” I reply, not looking at the bartender. “Coming right up” he replies, footsteps receding. I take a moment to sift through the messages in my phone. There’s a ton of them. I shut the phone off. The bartender brings me the first shot and says “Once you’re done, I’ll bring over the second shot.” I grab the shot, throwing it to the back of my throat. Without any words, I give him a stern look. ​“Second one coming right up…” ​“Yeah, and keep them coming” I spit, sighing. ↔ I’ve been sitting at the bar for over two hours now, and I’ve had countless drinks. ​“Ma’am, could I offer you an appetizer? You’ve had quite a bit to drink and nothing to eat?” ​“No, keep the drinks coming” I say drunkenly. ​“She’ll have the nachos” a tall, dark stranger says over my shoulder. ​“Who are you to order for me?” I snap. ​“You’ve been here longer than I have and have had more drinks than I have. I’m just looking out for you” ​“I’m just fine. I can look after myself!” ​“Fine, but I’m still ordering the food. If you don’t want it, don’t eat it…” he walks away. I turn to look at him, seeing nothing but the back of his head. He goes back to his table, facing away from him. Within 10 minutes, the nachos come out and I devour them until the plate has nothing left but meaningless crumbs. ​“Quite an appetite you have there. I guess you did need those nachos after all, huh?” the bartender laughs. Shamefully, I reply “Yeah, I guess so. Another drink, please” ​“I think you’ve had quite enough tonight. You should catch an Uber home or call a friend” the bartender suggests. ​“I’m good. I can handle another” ​“That wasn’t a suggestion. You’ve had enough for the night. Do you have a friend to see you home?” he asks, leaning toward me across the bar. ​“No, I’m staying here at the hotel. I’ll see myself back to my room. Thanks for nothing” I roll my eyes, dragging my ass off the bar stool and back toward the lobby. ​“So, I see you enjoyed those nachos” I hear a voice say. I got on the elevator and propped my head against the wall, eyes closed so that I wouldn’t get sick from the motion of the elevator. I open my eyes to find one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen. ​“So you’re the nacho guy?” ​“Yeah, you can call me that.” DING The elevator stops at the 3rd floor. I get off. ​“Well, you have a good night” he smiles, leaning on the back elevator wall. ​“You too.”