Shaded In

Moonlight Butterflies

Clem woke with a shock. She bolted upright in bed, her breathing rapid, sweat drenching her back. She put a hand to her head and waited for her breathing to return to normal. Stupid nightmares. She thought to herself. Fucking Carver.

Every night it was something else. Visions of having to shoot Lee, seeing her parents as walkers, the night she lost Kenny, Sarah being killed by walkers, the Russians attacking their group and shooting Rebecca, the dangers of Carver's camp, the night at the ranch...The list went on and on. She had lost so many people. So many people have died because of her. And each night someone always seemed to be haunting her dreams, almost making it unbearable to sleep.

She swung her legs off the side of the bed and stood up, there was no way she was getting back to sleep now. She thought about waking Luke up so he could comfort her, but decided against it. He would always tell her to wake him if she wanted to talk about it, but she had already woken him three times this past week. Luke always said it was fine, but she knew he was tired and needed sleep.

She looked over to the bed on the other side of the room where AJ was fast asleep. She quickly grabbed her hat before quietly making her way out of the room, careful not to wake the sleeping boy as she closed the door behind her.

She needed time to clear her head. Luke had taught her to breathe in and out whenever she was scared, stressed, or angry. It helped to calm her down so she could think straight. She taught AJ the same way. It really helped to calm herself in tough situations. The nightmares had been very persistent a while back and had caused Clem to fall into some dark times. One night had been too much. She hadn't slept for most of the week. Kenny had died the following day and it had just been too much on her. She blamed herself for the whole ordeal. So many deaths were already on her hands. She couldn't live like this and had attempted to kill herself. She couldn't bring herself to do it, then Luke found her gun in hand.

He had talked her out of it, said how he needed her, and how she had to keep going for AJ's sake. Her actions had scared the hell out of him. Not wanting anything like this to happen again. Luke started to sleep in the same room as her so he could be there whenever she had a nightmare. Luke's constant comfort and support helped Clem move on and start to feel human again, even if the nightmares still persisted. She didn't know what she'd do without him and AJ.

AJ had definitely been a huge motivator for her. He was alive because of her and she would risk her own life just to keep him safe. That was the promise she had made, not only to Rebecca and Kenny but to herself as well.

Clem walked down the stairs and into the now-darkened living room. The fire had turned to embers that had settled at the bottom of the fireplace. She looked around and almost jumped when she spotted a figure on the couch, having forgotten that they had two more people living with them now. She relaxed once she realized it was Louis. He laid there with his mouth wide open and limbs strewn about, soft snores escaping him every once in a while.

Clem would have laughed at the look on his face if it wasn't for the disappearance of a certain blond-haired girl. She looked to the other couch and noticed Violet was nowhere to be seen. She wondered where the girl could have gone.

She looked around and her eyes fell on the front door. The door being slightly ajar. She walked closer and could hear a noise come from outside. Curious she opened the door a little more and looked outside. She could see Violet leaning against the wood railing, arms folded and staring up at the sky.

Clem slowly stepped outside and carefully closed the door behind her, not wanting to scare the girl. "Violet?" She spoke softly.

Violet turned around surprised to see the other girl, she thought she was alone. "Uh...shit. I didn't wake you, did I?"