Like a Ray in My Night

32 You Are My Strength

Yun Bei Fen's lips curled into a bright smile. Ah, senior martial brother Mei was such a good person! Even now he worried about him. He should reassure him so he wouldn't need to put too much thought into this. "Don't worry, senior martial brother! If you don't like Yan Wu Huang, then I won't like him either. You know my second senior martial brother told me that if I ever got into a relationship, then I should do what my partner says. If he said I should go east, then I shouldn't go west. If he says something is black, then I can't say it's white. Even if it is white." Yun Bei Fen blinked his limpid eyes. "Actually, I don't understand it well but I think it means you're always right." He smiled. "Second senior martial brother wasn't wrong about that."
Mei Chao Bing's lips twitched. Wasn't something like that used to describe the virtues of a wife? But they were both cultivators! This shouldn't apply to them, should it? He sighed and patted Yun Bei Fen's head. Well, it worked in his advantage this time. He really didn't trust Yan Wu Huang and would feel better if Yun Bei Fen stayed away from him. He couldn't decide his life though. Some experiences had to be made by the person themselves. "Only if it's alright with you. You shouldn't let anybody dictate your life. Not me, not your senior martial brothers, not ... even your Master."
Yun Bei Fen nodded. He couldn't help but wonder what Mei Chao Bing might be thinking though. "Senior martial brother ... do you miss your Master?"
Mei Chao Big raised his brows. "Miss?"
"Mn. I don't know much about your Master but my Master is very important to me. If he wasn't there anymore ... I think I would be sad."
"That ... is probably one way to see it." Mei Chao Bing sighed and looked up at the sky where stars where glittering in the darkness. Back then he had felt desolate. "Well ... At first, I was shocked. And then I felt sorely disappointed. I had wanted to get into the Teng Yong Sect because of what they portrayed. Righteousness, brotherhood, justice ... And even though my Master was often cold and didn't seem to care about others much, I always felt that he was a good person. He just didn't show it outright. But after years of living at his peak and being advised by him on my cultivation, I had to find out he wasn't how I imagined him to be. Maybe he wasn't cold just because of his personality. Maybe it was because he never thought of himself as a part of the Teng Yong Sect. Or maybe I'm over-thinking. Who knows if he changed sides halfway or was a spy sent by the Wu Yun Sect from the very beginning?"
"I'm sorry."
Mei Chao Bing raised his brows. "Why are you sorry? You're not the one who betrayed the sect."
"But I brought it up. Now you're sad." Yun Bei fen lowered his gaze. This wasn't what he had wanted to do. He had just wanted to understand Mei Chao Bing better. "I'm really sorry."
Mei Chao Bing reached out again and patted Yun Bei Fen's head. "To be honest, you're the last person that needs to apologize to me. You know on the day my Master killed Elder Wu, everyone looked at me as if I was just like him. They seemed to expect that I would also betray the sect the next moment or take one of them with me if they tried to kill me.
"I knew that even if I stayed in the sect without ever doing anything wrong, the trust I had previously wouldn't be there anymore. The path I had before was barred because of something my Master did not I. I couldn't resent him. After all, he had taught me all those years. I couldn't resent the Sect Master and the Elders either since they were my elders and had always taken care of me on the missions I did take part in. And without them, I wouldn't have had the home I regarded the sect in.
"I was caught between a rock and a hard place and I felt like there wasn't any way out. I couldn't leave since that would have been treason but I couldn't stay either if I wanted to have a future. And I certainly couldn't expect any help or understanding. At least that was what I thought." He smiled and brushed Yun Bei Fen's hair. "That day you came running over and called out anxiously. You even hugged me and I suddenly felt that things weren't as bad. Even if the rest of the sect shunned me, there was still one person that cared about me regardless of what happened. There was still you. And that was what gave me the strength to hold on in the past years."
Mei Chao Bing sighed and lay back down, crossing his arms behind his back and his legs at his ankles. He had worked hard in those years and it had paid off. Despite not receiving help from the sect, he had managed to reach the Nascent Soul stage. That was much more than others could, especially in less than thirty years. He could probably call himself a prodigy?
Anyway, now that he had reached this height, there weren't many that could pull him down. Even if the Elders didn't like him, they would have to accept him. He had the strength to back himself and Yun Bei Fen up and also had the backing of the Sect Master even if that was still a secret. For the first time since his Master's betrayal, he felt at ease.
He took a deep breath and smiled at the one that had turned his life around again after it had been wrested from his control. "Fen'er, you might not know and even if I tell you now, you might not understand but in that situation, it was you who gave me strength and pulled me out of my despair. It was just a pity that you ran away immediately I wanted to thank you. And I would have loved to spend more time with you." He cupped his cheeks and looked into those dark eyes. "Just why did you have to run away?"
"I ..." Yun Bei Fen blushed and lay down next to Mei Chao Bing. "I ... was afraid."
"How so? I thought you were the only one who didn't think badly about me?"
"No, that's not it." Yun Bei Fen reached out tentatively and tugged at the lapel of Mei Chao Bing's robe. "You can't get angry, alright?"
"Mn. I'd never be angry with you."
"It's just that ... I hugged you just like that and then kissed you and ... I thought you were angry. So I secluded myself and hoped that you would forget about it."
Mei Chao Bing laughed. "I didn't forget anything. Every little detail is engraved in my mind. And it'll stay like that until the day I die. And since that's the case ..." He leaned forward and his lips brushed against Yun Bei Fen's. "I can tell you with certainty that it was me who kissed you and not the other way around. So don't beat yourself up over that. In fact, even if you had kissed me, I would have welcomed it. There is nothing you could do that would make me think less of you." He pulled Yun Bei Fen closer and their lips met again, filling the silence of the forest with their rapid breaths.