Alexa's first date

Alexa could not sleep. One might think that it was because she had a date the next day, but really it was because Maurice kept waking her up because he was scared of his nightmares.

"What was it this time?" She asked weakly as Maurice peeked through her door for the seventeenth time. He took this time to fully explain his most recent dream about a watermelon that was cut in half, but the beautiful fruit was purple on the inside instead of pink. There might have been more, but Alexa had stopped listening.

Finally, in the morning, Alexa woke up to find Maurice asleep horizontally across the foot of her bed. She rolled her eyes and kicked him onto the floor. He still didn't wake up.

Alexa rolled her eyes, grabbed the clothes she had set aside and went to the bathroom to change. (She couldn't change in her room, there had already been one too many mishaps that involved Maurice and changing).

Once she was ready, she went downstairs to the kitchen and immediately slipped on a giant puddle of milk in the middle of the floor.

"MAURICE!" She yelled loudly from where she'd fallen. There was still no reply from upstairs. Alexa supposed that was okay, because Maurice was less likely to follow her on her date if he was asleep.

She stood up and with horror, saw what Maurice had been doing at two am. There were pieces of hotdog everywhere (Maurice has never been good with a knife). There were even mixed in the spaghetti bowl full of lucky charms cereal.

Alexa only had 25 minutes to get to her lunch  date, so she grabbed the mop and cleaned up the mess. She tried to be very quiet so Maurice would not wake up. Unfortunately, Alexa's life never went the way she wanted it to.

At exactly 11:59, as Alexa was closing the front door, Maurice threw himself down the stairs.

"Still alive!" He exclaimed.

Alexa almost started crying. She had thought she would get out free from the distraction that was Maurice. But no.

And indeed, Maurice followed her in his rusty car all the way to the park where her date was scheduled.

Maurice spied from his car as Alexa walked to a very handsome-looking guy with a very white smile. Considering the fact that Maurice hadn't stood in front of a sink for a while, his teeth were lacking the whiteness that this guys had. He scrubbed at his teeth with his finger before getting out of his car.

He slammed his car door loudly in order to make a dramatic entrance, then marched over to where Alexa and the handsome date and set up a blanket and basket of snacks.

"HELLO GOOD SIR!" He yelled (there was a good distance from the car to the blanket). "WHAT MIGHT I CALL YOU?"

The date flashed him a spectacular smile, complete with sparkle. That only made Maurice more furious. How could anyone take his bestie Alexa from him??

"My name is David," said David.

Maurice whipped out a piece of paper and scribbled down dayvide in the empty space with insert name here underneath.

Then he cleared his throat and started rapping.

"Yeah, yeah
Ayo, dayvide, it's time.
It's time, dayvide (aight, dayvide, begin).
Straight out the jump dungeons of rap."

Alexa face palmed. It was becoming more and more common for her to face palm.

"The cheese drops deep as does my plant.
I never jump, 'cause to jump is the second aunt once removed of grant.
Beyond the walls of turtles, life is defined.
I think of burritos when I'm in a halifax state of mind."

Alexa and David looked at each other. They were questioning whether this "rap" was ever about David in the first place.

"Hope the cant got some aunt.
My ant don't like no dirty grant.
Run up to the rant and get the scant.

"In a halifax state of mind.
What more could you ask for? The bakin cheese?
You complain about rusty cars.
I gotta love it though - somebody still speaks for the disease.

"I'm rappin' to the bird,
And I'm gonna move your word.

"Yellow, obnoxious, stinky, like a brick
Boy, I tell you, I thought you were a kick."

Maurice started swinging his arms around, somewhat similar to the dancing he'd seen while watching music videos on the tv.

"I can't take the rusty cars, can't take the chair.
I woulda tried to squeeze I guess I got no air.

"I'm rappin' to the word,
And I'm gonna move your bird.

"Yea, yaz, in a halifax state of mind.

"When I was young my second aunt once remoed had a seize.
I waz kicked out without no disease.
I never thought I'd see that tease.
Ain't a soul alive that could take my second aunt once remoed's ease.

"A rotten cheesecake is quite the wake.

"Thinking of burritos. Yaz, thinking of burritos (burritos)."

Maurice finished his rap by doing a three minute long vocal run while in a flashy pose on the ground and waving his finger in the air. One might think that Maurice should have been a good singer, if was able to do a three minute vocal run, but those who have heard him know otherwise.

When he was finally finished, David stood up abruptly. He looked very uncomfortable.

"I just realized that ... my dog is stuck in a tree! And... and I have to save him!" And he ran away with the speed of an olympic athlete.

Alexa slammed her fists into the ground. She was more furious than ever!

"This was my first date Maurice! And you ruined it! How could you?"

Maurice didn't know what Alexa was so mad. He had saved her from that horrible