escape | ethan dolan

uncomfortable conversations • 21

"He's awake?" Ethan said shocked. A big smile is plastered across his face. "Come on," He looks quickly to me and holds out his hand, waiting anxiously for me to grab it. "We can go see him together."

I smile and grab his hand. Ethan tries to lift me out of bed, but because I'm so weak, I tell him that I need his other hand. He puts both his arms under mine and gently guides me up. I giggle loudly.

"Sorry," I apologize. "I'm really ticklish."  He laughs as he helps me stand up. I can't feel my legs since I've been laying down for so long. They're like jello.

We rush as fast as we can to Grayson's room, (considering my situation, we weren't moving that fast), and I can tell that Ethan is more anxious than ever. When we finally get to his room, a young nurse is standing by Grayson's bed with ice chips. He looks so out of sorts, and his eyes are strongly glazed over.

"What's going on?" Grayson asks with a groggy voice. It's hard to make out what he's saying since his voice is so raspy and weak.

"Gray!" Ethan exclaims with a wide smile. He rushes over and gives Grayson a hug.

"E," Grayson says returning the hug. They stay like that for a good ten seconds before the hug ends. The smile never leaves Ethan's face.

"I gotta go call mom and tell her the good news," Ethan pulls his phone quickly out of his pocket and exits the room. The nurse says something to Grayson, but he just closes his eyes and shakes his head. It hurts me to see him like this.

"I'm gonna go get him some apple juice," The nurse comes over and touches my arm. "Please, sit down." I nod my head and take a seat by his bed. When the nurse leaves, a rush of nervousness washes over me. I mean, what am I supposed to say? I know he doesn't want to talk to me. Really, I don't blame him. He could've died because of me.

"So," I begin with a shaky voice. "How are you feeling?"

"What happened?" He slightly opens his eyes and looks towards me. "How did I get here? How long has it been?"

"Um... well," I try to think about where I should start. I thought the nurse would've explained everything to him already. I think to myself.

Just then, the nurse returns with a small cup of apple juice. "Here, Grayson, drink this," She hands him the cup. "I'm Nurse Emily. You're in Mercy Hospital. You were in a coma for almost two weeks after an emergency operation we had to perform."

"Holy-" He stops himself and tries to sit up in his bed. Grayson winces and sinks back down when he realizes he can't. "Ow, my head." The nurse attempts to fluff the pillows behind him and helps him lay back down.

"Relax," Nurse Emily says calmly to Grayson. "You were rushed here after an accident in an alleyway. You were stabbed multiple times in the stomach. Do you remember anything?"

Grayson pauses. "Kind of, I guess?" He sighs. "Not really."

Ethan comes back in the room and runs his hand through his hair. "Mom says she's on her way. How are you doing?" He walks to the other side of Grayson's bed.

"I don't know I'm just really sore. Like, it's bad." Grayson attempts to sit up again but cringes when he hits a certain point. He collapses back on the bed, frustrated with himself. "Damn it!" He shouts.

"Hey," Nurse Emily rushes over to him. "You're gonna be okay. Just give yourself a little time and you'll be able to sit up in no time," She smiles at him and asks him if he needs anything before she leaves the room.

"No, I think I'm good for now. Thank you," Grayson replies. He turns to look at me with a blank face. "Weren't you there when it happened?"

"Yes," I admit quietly. "You saved me," I look up to make eye contact with him. Ethan has now taken a seat on the opposite side of the room. "Look, Grayson, I think I owe you a much-needed explanation."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you really not remember anything?"

"I mean," He shrugged lightly. "I guess I remember a little bit. I know that you were staying with us for a while," Grayson hesitates. "And then the party..." His voice trails off. I can see that he's trying to put the events in order in his mind. "I remember now!" His eyes light up and he sharply turns back to face me. "We went to the party and then I was fighting with Ethan," His tone softens when he mentions the argument with Ethan. I'm not sure if he's going to bring up the fact that we almost kissed but I hope he won't, it'll just make things more awkward. He clears his throat before speaking again. "Then Ethan left for L.A, but he came back. And then..." Grayson looks me dead in the eye. "Then you left." I freeze.

"Yeah, I did," I swallow harshly. "I never meant for you to get hurt Grayson I swear." He puts his head in his hands. "I'm sorry. Everything you said about me was true. I wasn't who you thought I was. I'm a runaway from an orphanage near here. I got hurt while I was trying to escape and that's how I cut my leg. I was too embarrassed and scared to tell you the whole story. I'm sorry," I can't help but blurt everything out. I've been holding it in from him for so long that it just feels like I need to tell him everything and get it all out there. "I don't want to overwhelm you," I squeak out. "I'll go." 

Right as I get up to leave, Grayson speaks up. "Wait, don't," He goes quiet. "Sit back down." I do as he says and sit back in the chair. I feel like I'm being scolded by a parent. "I knew that something was going on. It just all seemed so... weird."

I chuckle softly, realizing how weird this situation actually is. "Yeah, that's one way you could put it," I look around the room uncomfortably. Everything is so grey and dim. There's only one window and it's across the room next to where Ethan is sitting. The blinds are open slightly, letting in some of the bright morning sun. "I'm going back anyway. I already turned myself in."

"What?" Ethan, who has been glancing at his phone, shoots his head up in my direction. His eyes are wide with concern.

"You saw me with the cops the other day. I'm the one who called them to come here. I'm going back," I stare at Ethan who looks right back at me. He's hurt, I can see it. I don't know what else to say.

"You did this all for nothing then?" He spits. "You escaped and even hurt yourself, then came into our house and now... you're going back? After all this?" Ethan says angrily. "What about us? I thought you liked me too," I can sense the pain in his voice. I look down and twiddle my thumbs, unable to think of anything to do or say. I just want to leave.

"I hurt your family," I say. "Look at Grayson," I look up to him, only to see him staring straight at the wall in front of him. "He's here because of me- because of what I did!" I stand up. I'm so frustrated right now I can't even see straight. "I can't live with myself, Ethan. I've ruined all of your lives enough." I storm out of the room, glad that I got my point across but furious that he had the nerve to humiliate me like that. I know what I did and I know why I did it. 

As I enter my room, I catch a glimpse of Lisa rushing down the hallway. I watch as she goes to the front desk and a nurse gets up from one of the chairs to bring her to Grayson's room.

A few minutes after I get myself settled in, a nurse comes in to check on me.

"Hey Harlowe, how are you feeling?" She comes next to me to check my monitor and chart. "Looks like your vitals are all good. I'll have to check with the doctor but it looks like you'll be released tomorrow," She gives me a warm smile.

"Tomorrow?" I say shocked. I wasn't expecting that early.

"Yeah," She keeps smiling. "I mean if everything goes okay tonight."

"Are the police going to come get me?" I say timidly.

The nurse pauses like she's trying to figure out why the police, of all people, would be the ones to come get me. I guess she eventually remembers my situation because she mouths the word 'Oh' silently to herself. "Yes," Is all she says before she nods and leaves the room.

I sink down in the hospital bed and replay the events that happened today: Ethan and I kissed, then Grayson woke up, Ethan and I got in a fight. It seems like every time something good happens, it always ends in something bad.

It doesn't matter. I tell myself. I'll be gone tomorrow anyway.