No Doubt

Bianca

I know I can't avoid him much longer. Lately I've been flaking since I realized shit and I've been straight up avoiding him this whole week. I hug my knees to my chest and cuddle into the Starbucks chair.

"Are you going to talk to him about it today?"

I look up and there's Tina smiling down at me but there's something else there too. Pity? Hope? Maybe a little of both. She hands me my drink and I shrug.

"I don't know. This is fucking weird now. This is what I've been avoiding."

"It's only weird if you make it weird. Just act normal."

"Tina. I fucking can't."

That was a little harsh. I take a long breathe in and out.

"Sorry. I don't know what normal is around him anymore. The longer I avoid the worse it gets when I see him. I just want to run into his arms. Ughhhhhhhhhh."

"It'll be okay babe. He's been weirding out the past couple of weeks and he's been pretty oblivious so far so maybe his weirdness will balance out yours and he won't notice anything."

"Tina. Thank you. I love you. That was not helpful at all."

"Neither is all the sugar in that drink." She says as she walks back around the counter and starts a new order.

Deep breaths. No need to be nervous. It's just Scott. It's just my best friend. It's just the dude I fucking love. I mean I've always loved Scott and he's always loved me but will he still love me when I tell him? Will he love me and lean down to kiss me? Will he feel a hunger that keeps him awake at night? I can feel my heartbeat faster. Wait I love this song.

"Take me home tonight. I don't want to let you go till you see the light." I feel better already. Music has always been so kind to me, always steadying me whenever I sing along, and there's something about 80's that instantly puts a smile on my face.

"Hey babe."

I turn and see him and can't help that my smile grows.

"Hiya. You're late."

And he is. I've been waiting her for a while and my nerves are only getting worse with each minute passing.

"Well you've been dodging me for like a month or so, so I think I can steal back 10 minutes."

I frown. He has noticed I'm avoiding him but he's grinning so I guess he isn't mad about it. I realize he's waiting for an answer even though he didn't ask me a question.

"Just been busy I guess. Have you been up to anything new?"

"Me? No. Business as usual."

My frown deepens. Has my absence not affected him at all? With out him these past few months and especially this last week my life has seemed to have lost it's sheen. He's been my best friend for so long that without him I feel like a different person. A person I find wanting.

"You want another croissant?"

I smile. He knows I could eat hundreds of those a day. "Yes please."

He walks up to the counter and Tina says something I can't quite hear. She's probably teasing him about the two of us. They bicker like cats and dogs and it was during one of their bickering matches that I started to figure out the truth in some of what she said. Hearing that we're so cute together, or how we're meant for each other, and that we're inevitable, over, and over again makes it hard to ignore and it's not just Tina. We've heard that pretty much our entire friendship. I look over and Tina looks like crazed. What the fuck happened? Did she say something? No. Tina has apparently known longer than the both of us and I can't imagine her violating me like that. She's closer with Scott but we're still friends in our own right. If she's standing there speechless than he must have said something. My nerves are dancing again.