Colby Brock x Reader | A Chance Just For Me

Chapter 18 - I'm Just a Fan

(⚠Warning⚠: Self harm warning. Please stop reading if this makes you uncomfortable.)

Chapter 18 - I'm Just a Fan

Y O U

I sat outside Colby's hospital room, just staring at the wall as a million thoughts raced through my mind. Like, how Colby got amnesia in the first place. It was after the surgery when it happened. 

"Hey, (Y/N). Come on, let's go home." Sam sniffled as he pulled me up out of the seat by my arm. My eyes stay trained ahead of me as I get dragged away, further and further away from Colby. Further and further away from the guy I love, so deeply. 

--

I was sat in Colby's room, one of his hoodies on me, his scent engulfing me as I sulked and cried for myself. 

I felt like I couldn't help it at this point. We've been through so much together, and for him just to, forget that, is absolutely heart breaking. Now to him, I'm just a fan.

Another whimper escapes me at the thought of that as I stuff my face into a pillow, another sob escaping. The heart clenching pain was becoming too much for me to bear, and thoughts entered my head, thoughts that never should. 

I gripped my already scarred wrist, memories flooding into my mind. All about Colby. 

I sat up, and grabbed the razor blade hidden underneath Colby's pillow. And I sat there and just held it, crying. My heart clenching with every tear that ran down my face. Now, it truly was too much to bear. My heart couldn't take the pain as I raised the blade up to my wrist.

But before I could press the blade down and tear into my skin, the door opened to reveal Devyn, who gasped, ran over and snatched the blade from me as I fell down off the bed into a loud, heart wretching, sob. And Devyn couldn't help but to cry with me as she called Corey into the room. "Corey," Devyn spoke softly. "Take the blade, and tell everyone she just tried to harm herself." Corey nodded his head and rushed down the stairs to warn everyone, with the blade in his hand.

But I didn't care. This was my cry for help. These were my sorrows, the emotions I felt since the accident originally happened. This breaking feeling, cracking your heart into a million tiny little pieces until they dissolved like a piece of paper in water. I felt so broken, and that broken feeling, was making me feel empty, as my tears dried up and I just sat there in Devyn's arms as she comforted me the best she could. But at that time and moment, I felt nothing but emptiness.

--

It's been 3 weeks since my attempt, and now I was going to therapy sessions and was put on suicide watch. The sessions did help, surprsingly. I didn't feel alone anymore. But my heart was still, broken. Colby was too be released from the hospital in 3 days, and I wasn't prepared no matter how many pep talks I've had. I just couldn't take the fact that Colby remembers everyone but me. It just, it doesn't seem fair. Was this a sign for me to, start over? I mean, it just didn't make sense, I was living happily, I had a career, the best boyfriend in the world, and then, that just happened.

I sighed softly on my walk home. I was just leaving one of my sessions, and I just really wanted to be in peace. No depressing music, no Traphouse, even though that is where I live, and just, no thoughts about Colby. Just peace in my head even for just a short amount of time.

I pass by bright colorful signs, and streetlights, street performers, and for the first time in a long while, I smile. I genuinely smiled. I felt so at peace just watching other people's lives.

And then there was the one little girl. She came running up to me with the biggest doe eyes, although they were invaded with tears, and I knew, doing something good would make me feel a lot better. So I bent down and allowed the girl to run into my arms. I mean, I understood why she chose me. I was young, and had no reason to a kidnap a child.

I pulled away and looked at the girl in her brown doe eyes as she cried. "What's wrong?" I asked her, she looked around. "I can't find my mommy." This broke my heart.

"Okay, well sweetie, where was the last time that you saw her?" The little girl looked around, and pointed to the mall. "Okay, and what is your name?" I figured that if I got her name, then I'd be able to take her back into the mall and then announce her name over the speaker. Then her mother could go and get her.

"My name's Lavy." I nod my head, and I grab her hand gently, leading her towards the mall. 

--

Lavy and I make it up to the front desk at the office room. There, they can announce things. I knock on the door and a woman opens it, looking at me oddly. "Yes?" The woman crosses her arms over her chest.

"This little girl lost her mom here in the mall. And I was hoping you could announce it over the speaker." The woman nods her head, and leans down to Lavy, asking for her name. "L-Lavender May Hall." The woman stands back up and announces it over the loud speaker, and not too long after, a woman comes up, and Lavy runs into the lady's arms, hugging her tightly as she tells Lavy not to run away again.

"Who's responsible for finding my baby?" Lavy runs over to me and hugs me. Her mother walks up and hugs me around my neck, thanking me and giving me her phone number just in case I ask something in return.

--

After that, I head back home to the Traphouse. I could hear everyone inside laughing and joking. Which is oddly weird. Since nobody has been that happy since Colby was admitted to the hospital. And then the thought dawns on me. Colby was released. Early. A lot earlier than what was said.

I open the door, and take a couple steps inside before my eyes well up with tears. There he was. Colby Brock, there he was. But he wasn't alone. No, he wasn't just with all the roommates. He had his arm wrapped around a very familiar girl.