Colby Brock x Reader | A Chance Just For Me

Chapter 20 - Moving in

(Don't play song until told too.)

(⚠Warning⚠: This chapter includes suicidal actions, blood, gore, and if that is not your thing, I advise you to not read any further.)

Chapter 20 - Moving in

Y O U

I had officially decided I was going to move in with Brennen, of course with the okay from him. He gladly took me in, since the incident with Colby. Now today, I had to head back to the Traphouse to get my stuff. I had brought one suitcase with me, and a couple boxes. Small boxes. All the gifts Colby had given me, Brennen was going to give them back as a friendly, "give this to your new girlfriend" kinda thing. Of course, not that friendly. 

--

I had arrived at the Traphouse, arriving after everybody had left except for Corey and Devyn, they were going to help me move out. They had already had my stuff moved to the spare bedroom, beside Jake's, and they were about to start unpacking my stuff and put it out the way I had it in Colby's room, before they got the call from me saying I was going to move out. 

I was hoping in the time of me being moved out, Colby would hopefully get his memories back, and realize that he is in love with me. And I was hoping that my relationship with all the roommates would mend, and not be so broken. I mean, it felt like it was just a couple days ago they were being nice to me, and then they all of a sudden flipped and became horridly rude. 

I walked into the Traphouse, and was instantly engulfed in a hug by Devyn. She had tears running down her face as she whispered inaudible things. I looked over towards Corey, and he looked at me with a sad look. "She's been distressed about you leaving, and all she's done is cry." Corey said quietly, looking down at the ground towards his feet. My heart broke.

So many people are going to get hurt. I haven't posted a video in over, 5  months, and, I've hurt them. I'm hurting Devyn and Corey, I'm hurting myself. But, I feel it's for the best.

"I am so sorry Devyn." I stand there and hug her, as she cries, drenching my shoulder. Corey walks over and hugs us both, his warmth engulfing us as we stand there. In each others embrace, and it was horrible on the fact that I truly wished it was Colby's.

--

We, and by we, I mean, Devyn, Corey and I, had finally finished packing up my items, and were loading my stuff up in the backseat and trunk of my car. And that's when, Colby and Sam's car pull up into the driveway. I instantly get anxious, nervous, and sad.

Devyn and Corey seem to notice, and they are both over by my side. Colby gets out and looks over at me with pure hatred, and Sam looks at me with pity. 

My words catch in my throat before I say something. (Sorry for this next very clichè moment, but go ahead and play the song.)

" I know you've got the best intentions, just trying to find the right words to say." Corey, Devyn, and Sam look over at me in shock, of course they had never heard me sing before. Colby walked up towards me and lifted my chin, and it all felt surreal.

"I promise I've already learned my lesson, but right now, I wanna be not okay." Colby gritted his teeth at me, and for a second, I saw a slight glimmer in his eyes. 

"I'm so tired of sitting here waiting, if I hear one more, "Just be patient", it's always gonna stay the same." Tears had invaded my vision, and were about to make their way down my face as Colby held my chin, looking into my sad eyes. 

"So let me just give up," I pulled away from his grip, away from Devyn's and Corey's, and pulled a razor out of my pocket. "So let me just let go, if this isn't good for me, well I don't wanna know." The tears had fallen from my eyes, and just kept pooling as my voice cracked at the end. "Let me just trying, let me just stop fighting," Devyn had reached over for the blade, before I yanked it away and stared at her. "I don't want your good advice, or reasons why I'm alright." Devyn pulled away, and I sobbed out, "You don't know what it's like, you don't know what it's like." 

(Just go ahead and continue playing the song until 1:51.)

I had walked inside the house and stood there for a moment before dragging the blade across my wrist, the blood running down my scarred arm and dripping to the floor. I couldn't take the pain anymore. 

Devyn, Corey, Sam, and Colby had followed me inside, Devyn and Corey crying, Sam on the verge of tears, and Colby stood there, a sad look finally invaded his face. "I'm so over all this bad luck, hearing one more "Keep your head up", is it ever gonna change?" I looked back them with teary eyes, and closed them as tears rolled down my face. "So let me just give up," one cut. "So let me just let go," two cuts. "If this isn't good for me, well I don't wanna know." Four cuts. "Let me just stop trying," five cuts. "Let me just stop fighting," six cuts. Devyn had run over and was trying to grab the blade from my closed hand.

The blood from my wrist dripping and creating a puddle on the floor. I look at Devyn, and screamed, "I don't want your good advice or reasons why I'm alright." I dropped to the floor and had started sobbing once again as the pain finally caught up to me from my wrist. "You don't know what it's like, you don't know what it's like." I sat there in my own puddle of blood. Crying. Hurting. A hand reached down and grabbed my okay wrist, making me look up into the sad, pitiful eyes of Colby. This angered and saddened me more. And I couldn't hold myself back.

"Don't look at me like that, just like you understand," I ripped my wrist from his grip. "Don't try to pull me back." I looked down at the ground, and my voice had started to crack even more as sobs tried to escape. "Let me just give up, let me just let go, if this isn't good for me, well I don't wanna know." I was gripping my bloody wrist, squeezing it. My voice got louder as I cried once again, "Let me just stop trying, let me just stop fighting, I don't want your good advice or reasons why I'm alright." I was staring at Colby now. "You don't know what it's like, you don't know what it's like." I finally stood up, pushing up off the floor with my bloody hand. I started shaking my head at Colby as I spoke, "You don't know, you don't know, you don't know, yeah, you don't know what it's like." I walked up to Colby and gripped the collar of his shirt before screaming in his face,  holding his inches from mine. "You don't know what it's like! Yeah, you don't know, you don't know, you don't know what it's like, yeah, you don't know what it's like." I kissed Colby, on the lips as I held his face with my bloody hands. Firmly pressing my lips against his before I slowly started to feel the world slip away from me, hearing voices scream my name as I fell to the floor.'

The last person I saw, was Colby, the last person I heard, was Colby, and the last person I felt, was Colby, before my world, slipped into darkness.

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I literally have no words for what I just wrote, this was definitely one of my longest chapters, and I'm sorry to anyone who was hoping for a super amazing chapter, but I truly feel really, blah, about this chapter, but I have to get this out, because I just had a sudden jolt of like, creativity and wanted to do something different for my book, so I really hope you enjoyed.

And if you have any suggestions for the next chapter, please do leave those in the comment section, but that is all for now, peace. ☮️