Until There Was You

twenty-six

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2 6 | Until There Was You

Surprisingly, Jude was awake before anyone else the following morning. Outside the air was musky and dense, a swirl of fog wrapping around the crooked roofs and under the vibrant skyline. An unusual scent of pine loomed in the air, drenching Jude's hoodie in that same familiar smell. The shaky roads vibrated under the cars that wheeled past. Jude wanted to capture that moment, listening to the world sway around him as he pictured up realities and fantasies. All it's earthy, false tones and fading, dark shades.

"Something on your mind?" Lincoln questioned when he stepped out of the room and into the air, glaring at a concentrated Jude. It took a minute before he responded and let his own notions gather up. Then he pulled his hood over his head and responded.

"Nah, I just don't think I got enough sleep last night," he informed, rubbing a hand over his perplexed features. Everything was so tense all of a sudden.

"Why? You nervous or something?"

"Maybe," he admitted, flattening a few lingering rocks on the broken concrete. The nervousness was present in his actions: the way he fiddled with the strings of his hoodie, staring off into thought, and how he continued to replay the exchange between him and Waverly last night. He'd be seeing Waverly's dad hours from now, how could he not freak out. He had no clue how it would go. Not only that, but it forced him to think of his parents and how distraught everything was back home.

Silence crept in like a shiver of wind, strangling all his limbs and arteries. So tight that it almost felt real. Jude could hardly focus on one thing without his mind drifting to another. He felt suffocated in some ways.

"You have nothing to worry about. Just enjoy the trip while you can."

There was a lot to worry about.

"Yeah, don't remind me," he muttered, more frustrated than before. Then an idea piqued his interest. "But what if we didn't go back?"

It sounded like a joke when he said it aloud, it seemed.

"What if we didn't go back?" Lincoln repeated sarcastically with a laugh. "What the hell world are you living in Lockhart?"

It barely took a second for Jude to respond to the question, it was almost an instant answer—a knowing reaction.

"A world where responsibilities don't exist. Imagine a world like that, Linc. No adulthood. No problems. Complete freedom. Living your life on the road. Everything's unpredictable. I've never been this happy away from home, and just to think...just to think that it'll all change when I go back, it only makes me want to stay."

"Look, Lockhart, I know you've been through some crazy shit, but so does everyone else. It's fucking life. When it's not rainbows and sunshine it's problematic. You just have to have the balls to go through it. You can't always run from your duties. It's a part of growing up."

Jude reflected on Lincoln's words, but maybe he had been looking at the situation wrong. He hadn't put things in perspective the entire time. Nevertheless, Lincoln had been right. He had to give up that childish part of himself that screamed fear. Fear was just an illusion, imprinted to feel.

"I sound like my Pops. Can't believe I actually took a page out of his book," Lincoln said with a soft laugh. Then with a heavy smile, he spoke again, the kind of smile that'd creep somebody out if they hadn't known Lincoln. "You should go wake your girlfriend so we can start moving."