Forever to Me - A Jordan Sweeto Fanfiction

Chapter 37

I had been sleeping for the majority of the last few days. I didn't know what my problem was but staying awake was too difficult. Finally it seemed I was going to be able to stay awake for a normal amount of time. I looked around and remembered I was in my own bed at home.

"Hazel?" Mum came into my room and looked relived to see me up.

"Hey, I think I'm feeling better now. Maybe I'll actually try getting out of bed for a while."

"Would you like me to make you something? I managed to get you to eat some fruit about two days ago but since then you haven't been awake long enough."

When she said that I was very shocked. I'd been told I'd had an anxiety attack; I didn't realise they could be so severe. I took mum's offer and thanked her. She must have been so worried about me, especially since I hadn't been at home much over the last few months really.

When she left the room I assessed myself in the mirror on my bedroom door. My hair was a mess. It obviously hadn't been looked after in any way since I'd been in hospital. How long ago had that been anyway? Even though I was sure it hadn't been that long there were dark circles around my eyes and I looked ever so slightly gaunt. I needed to have a shower.

It took me half an hour washing my hair and body before I felt better. While I had been in there I'd had a lot of time to think. News spread pretty fast in Canberra; by now everyone who knew me probably would have heard about what had happened. Even though it happened at Jordan's house I had seen someone from school when mum drove me home. They could tell something had happened so I was willing to bet there would be heaps of rumours. Even though I was out of school now I knew that the people wouldn't have changed that much.

I tried not to worry too much about this though and called Jordan to tell him I was okay. It turned out I didn't have to though because he was in the kitchen helping mum cook some pasta.

"Hey baby are you feeling any better?" He asked as he rushed over to me.

"Yeah I'm fine. How many days has it been since the attack?"

He hesitated and looked at my mum. "It's been six days."

Six days? I knew I had been out for a while but I figured maybe four at the most. I had missed almost an entire week for a reason still completely unknown to me. I was guessing I would be going to a counselor or something so I would get better. Not that I wanted to go at all.

The pasta was ready and even though I had a lot of questions to ask I realised just how hungry I was. There had been a few occasions where I hadn't eaten for a day but to my understanding the last time I'd had a proper meal was seven days ago, since I hadn't eaten the morning I was sent to hospital. It was a wonder I could even walk properly.

After I finished it I turned to Jordan and asked him the one thing that had been at the front of my mind. "What's happening with Sweeto?"

He frowned a little. "Do you really want to talk about this now?"

"Of course I do! I want to know what's happening with you guys."

"Well, to be honest with you I haven't really talked to Ben much about it because I've been visiting you for the majority of the last few days. But the way things are going I'm pretty sure we're going to be splitting up. It's just too much effort to stay together, especially since Ben's not really into this music anymore and would rather focus on other things."

I couldn't believe it. I always assumed that Sweeto was going to be together forever. They would be a band like Blink 182 or All Time Low. But I guessed if that was what they wanted then that was for the best. I was surprised to hear Ben had other plans though. I asked what he was interested in doing now.

"He wants to do more dance, techno and dubstep sort of things. I had a feeling it was going to happen though, and I'm okay with it. I'm going to continue by myself under the name of Jordan Sweeto. I just have to tell everyone this now after I've talked to Ben one last time."

"Last time?" I panicked.

"Not last as in forever, just the last time as band members." He kissed my forehead. "You should rest. I don't want to come back and find that you've passed out again. I'll go talk to Ben."

I agreed and said goodbye to him, but I so wasn't in the mood to sleep. I got my laptop out and checked through all the social media. It had been a long time since I had been on any of these and that could mean several things may have happened.

First I checked Twitter. It was actually really sweet to see that people had been asking about me and wondering if I was okay, but at the same time it was not a story I had wanted spread on the internet. Facebook was much the same, but I also saw a lot of people's statuses talking about attention seekers, which were quite obviously pointed at me. It didn't really bother me because I was used to people bullying me for no real reason.

Next I called Scar. I was sure she was worried about me but I totally didn't blame her for checking in at my house all the time.

"Hey, are you okay?" She answered after the first ring.

"Yeah, I'm going to be fine, don't worry. I'm still not exactly sure why this happened but I guess I'll find out eventually. Mum wants me to go to a counselor, as I knew she would. How's everything with you?"

"Well, we actually have a bit of a problem. Cara may have told me that she hates you and we should replace you in the band."

That bitch! "What did you say?"

"I told her to fuck off and that we would find a new bass player, so she's gone. But she has not been saying good things about our band at all. Did you see the stuff on Twitter?"

"No, which is weird because I was just on there."

"Look under the tag brokenconnection." Well, that couldn't be good.

I said goodbye to Scar so I could look at the tag without swearing the whole time and her having to listen. I couldn't believe what Cara was making people think of us! Everyone thought I was a massive bitch who had control issues. We had lost two thousand fans because of this. And we really didn't have very many to begin with anyway.

I went to our Facebook page and found that we had lost a massive amount of fans on there too. I needed to fix this but I wasn't quite sure how. Me saying something was not going to help because I was the one everybody hated, but maybe if Scar said something...

A notification popped up on my screen alerting me Sweeto had posted something to their page. I clicked on it and had to try hard not to cry, even though I knew this had been coming.

Hey Sweetos,

You may have noticed we haven't been posting much recently or playing any gigs. This is because Brendan moved to Adelaide and we can't really have a band without him.

We've decided to call it quits as a band, but make sure to watch out for a lot of new videos from Jordan on our YouTube page! Ben will also be putting out some different styles of music too.

It's been an incredible ride and we're sorry to have to say this to you, but Sweeto just can't happen right now. We're all happy though, so you should be too!

Love Jordan, Ben and Brendan xx