Without Love

I

JINHWAN POV

At Hanlim Arts School..

I felt the rain on my face when i looked up the sky. It was gym class but Im out here in the field running my laps. I was punished 5 laps for being late.

"Kim Jin Hwan!"

I heard someone shouted my name from the bleachers. I looked around and saw Bobby and Hanbin sitting there while watching me run in the rain.

Those two are my friends. We grew up together but Bobby had to leave for a while to go study in the US. He came back since he decided to become an artist. Hanbin has been appearing TV quite alot as a featuring young rapper. As for me, Im still working on my career.

But that was 5 years ago when we werent signed as YG trainees.

We've over come the challenge of being trainees and lost our chance of debuting as the group Winner. We're happy for the hyungs although it was hard we wished them the best. Now we're getting ready for our own debut but as much as we want to debut we have to got through another challenge. President yang told us that we would be in another survival show. And here we are now at week 3 of mix and match.

"Hyung?" Junhwe knocked at my room. I didnt answer and pretend to sleep in. He didnt bother me anymore. I got a text from Hanbin.

[Hyung! We're going to Japan today remember. Be ready at 1pm. ^^,]

I texted Hye Soo and reminded her about the plan. She was to go to Japan and we'd secretly go out with the others so it wouldnt be too obvious. She's my girlfriend by the way. We've been dating since my trainee days. Its been hard on her since she's not in the entertainment industry. I feel bad that we couldnt go out anymore like we used to. We would always have to be careful and hide. This is my way of making it up to her. She's also staying at our hotel with her chingu Myeong Gi.

In Japan..

We arrived in Osaka and a large group of fans came to welcone us. Some even gave us gifts.

"Hyung, is she coming?" Bobby nudged me while we were waiting for our luggage. I looked at him and smiled. Then he nudged Hanbin. They both smiled then started to tease me.

"Its on! its on! Were going out tonight! oh yeah! its on!" They chorused as they teased me.

These guys are daebak!

The bus came so we got in. I was texting with Hye Soo and she told me that she was about to board the plane to Japan. She was travelling alone because Myeong Gi had an urgent appointment.

[Oppa, I'll turn off my phone, Saranghaeyo!~~]

The bus ride was smooth and the boys are all hyped for the fan meeting.

"Im nervous! What if they don't like me? Aigo." Jinhyeong sighed. He looked out the window and mumbled to himself. I pat his shoulders and told that he'd be fine, he'd just have to give it his best. He smiled at me and relaxed his tensed body.

We arrived at the hotel past 5pm so everyone went straight to their assigned rooms and to the hotel restaurant for dinner.

I sat between Hanbin and Yunhyeong while we ate dinner.

"Whats wrong?" Hanbin asked, who was worried since he knew me so well.

KJH: She hasnt texted me yet. She should be here by now.

KHB: Ah! Eat up. Dont worry She'll text you soon.

KJH: Araso!

Everyone was real hyped up at dinner even the staff and producers. But i couldnt help but worry about Hye Soo.
After dinner, we all went up to our room. I washed up and headed down at the lobby to asked if Hye Soo has arrived yet.

RCPTNST: Good evening sir, how can i help you?

Me: Ah, Can you check if Ms. Hye Soo Lee arrived yet?

RCPTNST: Sure give me a moment.

I tried to ring Hye Soo but her phone was still turned off. Its 8pm she should atleast be at the airport by now and texted me. Im worried sick! Oh that girl! If she's planning a surprise now would be a good time.

RCPTNST: Sir, she hasnt arrive yet.

Me: Ok, arigato gosaimas!

I sat at the lobby lounge and just listened to music while i closed my eyes wishing that shed be here to cover it and surprise me. I wanted to be alone at that time. I took out my hoodie and headed to a nearby park, checking my phone from time to time, i noticed that i was at 10% so I decided to head back.

In the room..
(With HanBin and DongHyuk)

DH: Hyung, we've been looking for you. Where were you?

KJH: Just out.

HB: She's not here yet huh?

Just then I got a call from her mom.

"Annyeonghaseyo eomonie!" I smiled as i heard her voice.

"Are you with Hye Soo? We couldnt reach her." She asked.

"Anniyo, I couldnt reach her too." I told them as my smile turned into a frown.

"Ah! Well when you talk to her tell her call us, we're worried." Her voice was trembling I could hear it.

"Araso eomonie, annyeong." I tried to be as cheerful as I can be.

The phone call just made me worry more. This girl and her surprises. I looked at Hanbin and Donghyuk as they seemed to be worried about me.

KJW: I'm okay! lets sleep! kekeke. Shell be here tomorrow youll see.

They both lied down and Donghyuk turned the lights off.

Friday Morning..
Rehearsal day..

I woke up at the hotels wake up call. The two stubborn idiots got their heads under the pillow. I didnt answer the phone so it just kept ringing, that way theyd be able to wake up. I took a cold shower and rehearsed my parts. I even used my toothbrush to sing infront of the mirror.

I heard noises outside so that means that their up. I got out the bathroom and Hanbin was watching the local news. When i reached the tv he shut off quickly.

KJH: Wae?

HB: Anniyo.

I turned it on again and saw that the news was about a plane crashing last night. My jaw dropped and my body shakened. This cant be Hye Soo's plane. It cant be. I couldnt feel Hanbin's hand on my back and Donghyuks on my shoulder. I was in total shock. My phone rang and my hopes we're high that it was Hye Soo but it was her parents. They told me that the plane that crashed last night was the plane Hye Soo was in. My tears flowed immediately and I couldnt say a word.

"Mianhae, was it my fault?"
I fell on my knees as my tears kept on flowing.

I sat at the edge of the bed in a daze, lost for words. Hanbin took the phone from my hand and talked to Hye Soo's parents.

My tears wouldnt stop flowing. All of a sudden the memories we shared all came back. I remember meeting her the first time at an activity center. She had on a floral bow and a blue dress. She was there with her Mom. Her smile was so innocent and her eyes glistened like the stars at night. She smelled like freshly bloomed flowers in a sunny day. I remember holding her hand at the Park. It was smooth and soft. Her warm hands intertwined with mine made my heart skip. I was happy and sure about her. I remember the times she cried because she was under too much stress. We would go out to eat streetflood at night and window shop. I remember making her laugh so hard that her face would turn red. But now all I have is a memory.