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1.0 Welcome to My Life

I fixed my hair and checked my face on the mirror one last time before turning my camera. Taking a deep breath, I smiled and said my intro “Hello lovies it’s your relatable girl Kaelin back for another video!

I know it hasn’t been long since my last video but I decided to do another one cause I’m bored and I got big news! I haven’t been checking my channel subscribers lately because I was busy with school and I really didn’t care but I got something from YouTube!”

I happily showed them the package I got yesterday. It was the Golden YouTube Play Button which meant I got over a million subscribers, more than I expected really but years (actually just months) of hard work and posting short #Relatable videos twice a week paid off (it turned once a week when I got busy with school).

I started my channel about six months ago when my aunt bought me a camera as a gift for not failing school. I thought of content and told myself “What’s more original than being relatable?” thus my channel’s name is #Relatable.

I gained popularity in an instant because apparently there are depressed teenagers tryna make it through high school with a big fake smile just like me.

“So guys, we’ve been together for quite a few months already and I got this beautiful reward cause of you so in return, I’m gonna tell my whole life story.”

I laugh lightly, feeling comfortable with talking to my camera as if they’re my viewers.

“If you’re new to my channel and have a child or children or you’re a teenager that just found this video on your recommendation or maybe my loyal lovie then sit back relax, pause this video and get some popcorn cause this is gonna be a long ass story.” I paused the recording and stood up to get some food because if my viewers can eat, why can’t I?

I jogged to the kitchen, searching the fridge for something edible. I took the frozen burgers mom bought last time and heated up three of it before placing them on a plate and wrote a note that I won’t eat dinner.

I jogged back up to my room and locked the door so they won’t disturb me in the middle of filming. I played the camera again before sitting back down with a plate of hot burgers.

“I’ll probably get hungry later so just don’t mind me if I suddenly eat in the middle of talking.” I grinned sheepishly, half ashamed cause I lost half of my dignity already.

“Anyway, I just wanted to discuss the matter of watching whatever you say because well, some people are extra extra EXTRA sensitive sometimes. It’s not just kids, or teenagers, it could be anyone.

It could even be that girl who always smiles at you at the hallways or your coffee guy at work or maybe just that hyper little kid you see at school. My point is, if they’re sensitive, they’re sensitive.

But that’s not just what I wanted to talk about. I also wanna raise awareness to everyone that not every person is who you think they are. They could easily be depressed but you don’t know it cause they don’t show it.

And just because they say they are depressed, doesn’t mean it’s already true. Some people take that issue lightly and I think it’s time it should be corrected.

I know I said this is for everyone but I noticed that this matter is something that happens amongst teenagers. As someone who is surrounded by teenagers and is a teenager herself, I can assure you that teens would go through at least one of the following;

1) Failure
2) Fights
3) Rebellion
4) Depression
5) Heartbreak

and most importantly

6) A whole lot of fun

And if you’re a lucky bitch like me, you’d experience all of these things almost at the same time. Of course, with a lot of subtexts coming with.”

I took a deep breath before continuing my little speech.

“These things are inevitable but not all of them will happen to a person. Some people are just born to have the perfect life and don’t even argue with me, we all know the truth.

The reason why I brought this up is because I want be an example to parents, teenagers and addicts or whoever else that may be watching this video right now.

Life is tough for me and tougher for most people but I was weak and vulnerable, I still am. Although through the years, I managed to cope and be stronger.

Throughout this, you may feel that I was unreasonable but I had no one to hold on to except for my cute pillow.” I paused and raised my favorite blue pillow that has been with me for so long.

“I don’t know when it actually started though. Maybe when I moved to a new school right after sixth grade? Or when I noticed that my parents favored my older sister over me? Or maybe just when I fucked myself up because I enjoyed the thought of hurting myself.

I’m slowly healing though, or so I say to my friends whenever they ask how I was doing. My old viewers know that I would always joke about how I wanted to end things already I guess that’s what made me relatable.” I chuckle at my words. People who’ll stumble upon this video will surely think I’m crazy or whatever.

“Should I start from the beginning? Well I was born March 17, 2003. My parents are Brian and Jaime Carson----- who am I kidding? Y’all probably know this about me already I mentioned this a LOT of times already.

So let’s just start when I discovered I like to write I was like nine or ten at the time but I won awards cause of my skills. It became my way to express things I couldn’t say.

And then I decided to write on Wattpad and it flopped. My first ever attempt to write on a platform flopped and that ladies and gentlemen, is my first ever failure in life. Not counting the times I failed my exams during elementary school of course.

But that was my own personal failure. To my parents’ eyes, I was already a failure because I couldn’t be as good as my sister. Even when I was younger they would always compare me to her and if not to my sister, it would be my classmates.

Even if they say it isn’t, I know it’s really a competition between me and my batch mates. They would always force me to do my best when I was satisfied with my own.

I never really noticed it until I reached my teen years where I was a bit loose from their grasps and I noticed how my classmates’ parents’ treated them. I got jealous and wished for the same treatment too.

And then I started to notice every single thing and it never stops. To parents out there, old or new, listen to this because you need this. Your kids need this, we need this.”

I’m Kaelin Grace Carson and this video.... this is my cry for help, my cry for a change. I just hope they see that. Also I just wanted to share my life story cause I was bored.