Dark Ocean

Part 10

[Valentina: 01:10 am]
Would you think I’m weird if I told you something?

Valentina nervously paces back and forth in her room, biting her thumb, and her heart races as she types out another message. She takes a deep, shuddering breath to try an calm down. She thinks she’d better stop while she still can, but that’s the thing. She can’t. It comes pouring out of her, and she’s helpless to stop it.

Her fingers hover over the screen of her phone, suddenly more self-conscious than ever, but she presses the send button before she loses her nerve.

[Valentina: 01:11 am]
That I’m missing you already? That I’m thinking of you?

Her mind immediately flashes back to earlier that night and she can almost feel the gentle pressure of Juliana’s lips on her own again. She closes her eyes and lightly touches her lips, a vivid image of Juliana’s gorgeous face flashing behind her closed eyelids, causing a wave of heat to spread through her veins.

She bites her lip on a smile and shakes her head, pressing her hand against her forehead. “Oh, Valentina..”

It’s too much, too intense and she lets herself fall face first onto her bed with a laugh to cover the way her heart flutters; her stomach twisting in nervous, almost giddy anticipation.

She’d never been this forward, this open about her feelings with anyone in her life and it makes her feel extremely vulnerable. It’s pushing at her boundaries of her natural reserve. Then again, every moment she spends with Juliana seems to blur the edges of what she thought she would and wouldn’t do.

She quickly sends another message before she stretches out her arms over her head and buries her face into the cool sheets.

[Valentina: 01:12 am]
Silly, I know. Anyway, I just wanted you to know.

She inhales the scent of her freshly washed sheets and squeezes her eyes closed even tighter. Her room is quiet except for the faint ticking of the clock in the hallway, taunting her, because how can time move so fast and so slow? She spent three glorious hours in Juliana’s presence, and all she could think was that she never wanted this night to end.

But now, all alone in her room, time can’t move fast enough. Every second away from Juliana seems like a minute, and every minute feels like an hour. She wants to be able to move forward through time, just to be close to her again. She feels a surge of longing- a craving so strong she has trouble breathing.

Is this what love feels like? But how do you know you’re in love? The thought flashes through her mind over and over again. She’s no expert, but perhaps she has something that resembles an answer to that question. Maybe. Maybe you know when you can’t stop thinking about her, no matter how hard you try. When you can’t stop wanting her, can’t stop missing her.

You know, because you’re chest flutters so bad and you never want it to stop. You know, you just know when you’d give up everything just to be able to see her again.

Well, maybe that’s not how you know you’re in love, but Valentina doesn’t really have anything else to compare it to. She’d never felt any of these things with Lucho and maybe it makes her a terrible person, but her past feelings seem so bleak she wants to laugh at how blind she’s been this entire time.

The buzzing of her phone snaps her out of her thoughts and she quickly swipes her finger across the screen. She doesn’t realize she’s holding her breath.