Gone (Ianthony)

One Week Before

Anthony:  

Despite it being the end of August, Michigan was surprisingly quite cold. Maybe it was just my native Californian sense of temperature, but I had to have the heat blowing steadily on my face in my little rental Honda to keep from shivering.

I had no idea where to go from there.

Saugatuck was maybe a good three hours away from the Detroit airport, and I had to be at least halfway there. I couldn't deny the feeling of nervousy that coursed through me like medicine through an IV; what was the next clue? What if that was the last clue? What if I was just supposed to aimlessly wander around the city until I ran into him on the street?

It made my stomach ache. But I knew I was close. I knew I would soon be in the same city as him. Because he wouldn't lead me all the way here for nothing. 

I flipped the radio on, trying to drown out the thoughts in my head and relax, and set the cruise at a steady seventy-five, taking a deep breath.

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In Ian's defense, if I was to run away from home and make it look like a suicide, I would have fled to Saugatuck, too.

The town was gorgeous. It was relatively small - or maybe it wasn't, for a Michigan town. It seemed ant-sized compared to the capital of California.

It seemed like you were surrounded by Lake Michigan everywhere you went, almost like the town was an anonymous island in the middle of nowhere. It was peaceful. Even I felt slightly at peace just by the atmosphere.

My hotel was a block away from the beach, and directly after checking in, I went for a walk. Partly to clear my head, partly to stretch my legs from the flight, and partly because I actually had some stupid sense of hope that I would run into Ian somewhere along the way.

It was sunset, and strangely enough, the air seemed warmer than before. I walked on the path along the beach, occassionally passing a biker or a woman walking a small dog or a young couple holding hands. I must have looked pretty out-of-place, being an obvious city boy in a Michigan town on the coast of one of the Great Lakes.

I eventually stopped at an entrance to the beach and decided to sit for a minute. The sand was warm and soft, and I smiled slightly as I slipped my shoes off and buried my feet. There was only one other person on the beach, a good ways down - he looked like a middle-aged guy and he had a big dog with him. For a second, I couldv'e sworn it was Ian, but then I realized I was definitely hallucinating. I wouldn't find him on the first night here. I wasn't even sure he was in the same state. 

I watched the sunset for a while, resting my chin on my knees. I definitely was tired, but I knew I wouldn't sleep well tonight. I already had trouble sleeping away from home, especially this far, when completely alone. Not to mention all that was on my mind.

I was lonely. Watching the sunset on a beach thousands of miles from home, the realization hit me hard: I was really, really lonely. I'd felt better after mending things with my parents and friends, but it was then that I realized that if Ian really was... gone, I'd never be able to fix that feeling of loneliness. There'd be no way to replace him. I'd never get over it. I'd feel like this for the rest of my life.

With that thought, I found my eyes drifting back down the beach, where the dog and the man sat. They were mere shadows now; the sun was just about set. The man was throwing a stick for the dog, petting its head every time it brought it back. I was tempted to go over and make conversation, just because I was that desperate for social interaction, and maybe even ask if he'd seen a relatively short twenty-six year old around with brown hair and blue eyes, but decided against it. I didn't wanna disturb their peace.

So, I stood up, brushing the sand off the seat of my pants, and walked solemnly back to my hotel, trying to figure out what my Finding Ian Plan Of Action would be.