Philophobia

Chapter One

I sat in my desk chair, swiveling it around as I stared at the stack of papers I just finished filling out; putting my signature on every damned page. It's so irritating, but I suppose.. whatever puts food on the table-

A.. lot.. of food..

You see, I own a huge ass business. It's extremely well known, actually. We're a huge streaming network, paired with many other companies such as T&A, Pineapple, robo, etc.. It's no big surprise if you see me on the news having a heated debate, or signing a contract with another business owner. It's completely consumed me. It's all I'm good for.

Eat, sleep, work, bathroom breaks. That's all. Nothing more. Aside from the few walks I take, vacations, and hours I spend binging stuff on Woutube.

I sighed, leaning on my desk as I stared at the clock, waiting for it to reach 3:00 A.M. so that I could leave. Until then, I traced my veins with my index finger out of boredom.

I was the only child. Three other miscarriages, but I'm the one who made it. I was born female. My father was furious. He kept going on and on about how we don't have an heir to the business, they were too old to try again, they should've had a son.. you get the just.

My mother eventually convinced him to give me a chance when I came of age. So, growing up, I was homeschooled. Well, aside from elementary school. I went to a public school for a year, then. I suppose that's.. not too important.

I focused on my academics. I had no friends, I still don't. I went through many classes and training. Then, at age thirteen, I was given 'the talk'. Not the one you're thinking, though. I'm talking about the three to four hour long one on how an entire business' fate rests on my shoulders.

I distinctly remember laughing mid-lecture, looking up at my father and assuring him that I'd do fine. He smiled, sat beside me, and kissed my forehead. God, how I miss him. I wish he were here to see how far I've come. But.. unfortunately.. he isn't.

Not too long after I reached age seventeen, my father had fallen incredibly ill. He was hospitalized, but only lasted about a month and a half before he passed. His body couldn't take it. Well, I'm twenty three now, and took his place in the business; being the first woman to take this position in the company.

Now I'm simply left with my helicopter mom, my associates, and my cat. Yes, I have a cat. A precious baby. No, I will not share. Get your own, uncultured swine.

I noticed the long hand of the clock reach the three, causing me to smile thankfully. Wearily, I stumbled to my feet, grabbing my purse as I slipped on my black pumps. My pencil skirt pinched my waist the tiniest bit, causing me to frown. My mom wanted me to get this specific size, so that I would look 'appealing' to people. I literally just look like my skirt is going to shred itself. It's that bad. But, I'm sure my assistant appreciates it, seeing as how he can never stop checking me out.

I wish I had wasp spray to spray him in the eyes with. He wouldn't be staring at me anymore. Or anything, really. He'd be blind.

I walked down the stairs, since I'm not that fond of elevators, and made my way towards the street. A dark car waited for me, a body guard in the drivers seat. I hopped into the passenger, fist bumping him with a grin, "Yo!"

He stayed silent, staring at me in shock. My smile slowly faded as my hand dropped to my lap, ".. Don't you dare tell my mother I said that." I warned, causing the male to nod.

"Yes, ma'am." I could sense his nervousness. It made me feel bad in a way, but at least I knew he wouldn't tell. He just sped down the street without another word, causing me to gaze out the window.

I caught glimpse of a small group of people. There was a short female wearing a gray beanie. Her skin was a caramel color, her hair a dark, chocolate brown. Overall, her outfit was tacky, yet stylish. Browns and plaids; I found it cute.

There was an average height guy wearing a baggy hoodie, trip jeans, steel toe boots, and a ball cap which hid his hair. He and the girl seemed to be laughing and poking fun at the remaining member.

It was a male, extremely tall, with a sweater which seemed to be pulled over a white button up. He wore black  converse, and black skinny jeans. His hair was brown and a tad bit messy, but it didn't look bad. He seemed to be smiling, so I could only imagine that everything was playful.

I gazed at them, realizing that I had a saddened expression on my face. I suppose it's because.. I never had that? I didn't know what it was like, so why did I seem to feel.. empty? Like something was missing?

I didn't realize I was staring until the tall one took notice to me, giving a small smile and a wave. My cheeks flushed in embarrassment as I nervously laughed and rolled up the window, quickly averting my gaze.

The guard pulled into my driveway, which wasn't too far away, and I immediately hopped out. I could hear the distant sounds of laughing. I didn't know if they were about me, or about something completely different, but it still made my stomach twist into knots.

I shut my eyes tightly, clutching my purse to my chest until the deep voice of my new body guard broke the silence, "Are you alright, Miss?"

Looking up at the taller man, I gave a reassuring smile and nod, "Yes, I am fine. Thank you."

I cast a second glance towards the group down the road before making me way up the steps and into the house. Of course, if I wanted to, I could've had someone else open the door. Apparently I have that 'privilege'. But, really?

Besides, I don't know what it was, but I felt extremely sick to my stomach. No, not my stomach, but.. everything. My heart throbbed, it was hard to breathe, there was a lump in my throat, and my stomach seemed to be on fire!! Not knowing what was going on, I kicked my heels onto the floor and rushed upstairs.

On my way up, I dropped my bag, it's contents spilling all over the tiled floor. Without a second glance, I ran to the bathroom, turning on the hot water and letting it fill the tub as I sat on the floor, clutching my chest.

I just felt so weird. I didn't like it at all, either. Who would, though?

I didn't know if it was good or bad, but it was uncomfortable, and was making me actually worry.

After I slipped off my clothes, I nearly let myself fall into the tub. I was tired, and after a long day of work, needed to calm my nerves. Sighing, I sunk into the water, playing with a few bubbles. Hopefully I can sleep all this shit off. I need this feeling to leave. I need dad off my mind. I need work out of my priorities. I need sleep.

Yes, yes. Brilliant ideas.