I won't ever be rich or famous. I know that. But the lottery odds that someone does find this unnamed blog are enough to terrify me. Finding this blog is the equivalent of finding my diary under a bookshelf in the Strand (18 miles of books!) after walking through New York City blindfolded. I get that. No one will care what I write because no one will find what I write. But the possibility of Daredevil being a devoted bibliophile and stumbling upon my diary after dropping a used copy of Slaughterhouse-five exists and I'm allowed to be terrified of it. Just like I'm allowed to be terrified of anything and everything.
Yes, I am aware that statement seems like a stretch but Someone, if you are out there, just let me explain.
I am not really terrified of everything. I am terrified of anything and that makes me terrified of everything. It's terrified by proxy. If you get it you just do and if you don't congrats, I'm keeping the therapists in business, go donate to charity.
I wasn't always like this. I know what feeling fine feels like. What it feels to live with only moderate anxiety.
It was only yesterday. Literally only yesterday.
Now it feels like someone threw kerosene into that little castle that I keep in my brain, the one with all my grand plans and pipe dreams, and then took a match, winked, and lit that little fucker on fire.
And now all I'm left with is that fire and its dance and how it makes absolutely everything look like it's going to eat me. And I know the shadows can't hurt me and I know I can just walk out of the burning castle but I also just can't. My feet won't budge.
And that little fucker that started this whole mess? The arsonist that has me all terrified and existential? He is sitting right across the table from me with the stupidest most idiotic grin on his face.
--- Signed
Someone Please call the God Damn Fire Department.
YOU ARE READING
An Unnamed Blog
Short StorySo, my world just imploded. Out of all the cities and hotel lobbies in the world he happened to be in this one, on this weekend. And I just had to run into him. Life was great, or well you know, it was going. Got a girlfriend that I love, a major...
