The office [Complete]

Chapter 5

Kong's POV

Strangest. Date. Ever.

I rested my head on the back wall as I closed my eyes, sighing away my exasperation, waiting to hear the soft ding of the elevator to finally take me back home. I can't believe I was excited for this mess of a date. Fuck, I can't believe I actually tried putting those nasty little buggers people call contact lenses in my eyes. And actually succeeded.

Well, in the spirit of completely honesty only half succeeded. No matter how much I pushed and prodded and even tenderly trip to plop it in, my right eye stubbornly refused to let that blasted piece of plastic stick to my eyeball.

I guess being half blind is the excuse I'm going to stick with as to why it took me bloody half the evening to figure out the man sitting across from me in the restaurant looked a good 20 years older than his online profile. Or that huge blob of yellow stain in the front of his shirt wasn't a consciously placed sunflower pattern. But even with squinting through the night I could simply not ignore the fact that the man very badly need to make a dentist's appointment.

But you know what? Ironically, I could even look past that. I'm not really a shallow man. I'm a simple guy and I had no qualms about getting myself an Adonis of any kind. I think I have learnt my lesson that Sams of the world were plenty beyond my league. All I wanted now was an average bloke who would be ok with my mostly boring lifestyle. Who didn't need to go look for excitement on the side while I spent my evenings holed up in my room.

Unfortunately for me, boring was the one thing my date tonight was definitely not. Infact for the longest time I didn't even understand what he was going on about most of the night. Perhaps I had been out of this dating game for too long, so I kept smiling and nodding. Most of my focus drawn towards trying to shut my right eye to actually see the food on my plate without looking like I was giving the man one big, long wink.

It wasn't until I found the conversation suddenly being focused around threesomes and orgies that his earlier question about soft and hard limits started to make a lot more sense. The dim bulb in my head finally going off that a man in his late forties, in a severely run down car, with a stained t-shirt might have lied just a tiny bit on his online profile. He was probably wasn't even close to a successful 28 year old architect, was he?

I raised my hand as discretely as I possibly could trying to button up my shirt all the way through. Face planting extra hard in my head as I cursed myself for trying to emulate Arthit's style. I should have known it would backfire spectacularly, and it totally did.

Here I was sitting in a semi romantic restaurant with a bonafide pervert I had been randomly been linked to from the match making site. Probably making the online dating profile the biggest mistake of them all. Maybe meeting random strangers wasn't the brightest idea I have come up with. Which means I am back to square one on figuring out how to get back into the dating game.

Perhaps if I told my family or friends about my breakup they might have some decent suggestions but currently that is one conversation I am absolutely not having with anybody at all. There were exactly two responses I knew I would get while wagging tongues commented on the end of my six year relationship. It would either be about how I was making too big a deal of a simple mistake and throwing away a relationship instead of working on it. Or that I was obviously too stupid to have forgiven him the first time around and I should have probably expected this anyway. I have heard all of it before the last time I broke up with Sam and I was simply in no mood to hear it all again. So if online dating was my only option then so be it. Well, perhaps next time I will vet the guy a little more. And probably meet him in a slightly more public location. Not everyone you meet this way can be a creep, right?

That thought barely having a chance to finish before I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I was about to twist the key to my apartment when I turned around to get the biggest jump scare of my life. Mr. Creep standing less than a foot away from me. Grinning from ear to ear.

"Sorry it took me so long to find parking."

"Huh?"

"I didn't mean to make you wait. It's bad manners. And my mommy definitely raised me better than that."

"I...uh...what?"

"So....? Are you ready? I'm sure we are going to have a blast together."

He reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder. Squeezing it rather suggestively.

What the fuck was going on? I'm pretty darn sure not two minutes ago I had made a lame ass excuse, said a quick goodbye and practically ran out of the smelly car. Why the hell was the man outside my door again?

"What...are you talking about?"

"Ummm...you bought me dinner."

"Yeah? So?"

"So...it means now I have to put out."

"Put out what?"

"Myself."

"I don't understand what that means?"

"Really? You don't know? You are such an innocent type. I like that. It's quite simple. You bought dinner, so in return I have to sleep with you."

"Woah, woah, woah. Sleep with whom now?"

"You, ofcourse. Don't worry. I don't mind. You are actually not that bad looking at all. Honestly, I was a little worried that some ugly ass troll would show up and I would have to shut my eyes while doing it. But you will do just fine. We might actually end up having some fun tonight."

I think my jaw just about hit the floor. Was he seriously offering me sex in exchange for buying dinner? Now I know I have some self-esteem issues plaguing me that I have to deal with eventually, but even I was not about to stoop this low. I didn't know if I wanted to laugh at his face for proposing something so preposterous or if I wanted to drown my sorrows in some insanely hard alcohol and cry to my heart's content that my first date in 6 years had been such an unmitigated disaster.

My mind still grappling with how I should manage to shoo this man away hopefully for good when I learnt a rather important life lesson. You know what is missing when you are nearly blind in one eye while trying to focus all your power of sight with the other?

Depth perception.

Which essentially means I had absolutely no clue when the man had taken his last step towards me, closing the already minuscule distance between us. It wasn't until my sense of smell was acutely activated with the foul odor of his breath just a few inches away from me when it finally struck me that the man was about to kiss me. A little too late for me to even do anything about it. One second later I was either going to feel the mouth with chapped lips, decaying teeth press against mine or I was going to throw up on his face. And right now I can't tell which of the two would be more gross.

And then at the very last instant my knight in his shining armor came rushing through to save the day. Or more like wearing the track pants and t-shirt from last weekend.

One second I am bracing for impact, the next I was being pulled backward by my elbow. My 'date' shoved away with a rough push on his chest. Arthit standing between the two of us with his arms crossed over his chest.

"No way is that happening tonight. Or ever."

.