Remember (PlayboiUzi)

2

Jordan's P.O.V:

"shit shit SHIT!" I yelled into my pillow.

I was 100% sure that I had lost my best friend and now look at me, crying over someone who I've seen as more than a brother or best friend.

He wasn't my distraction, he was my muse. He gave me reasons to believe in love even though we had never said the words directly to each other.

I decided to sleep in my guest room by myself, I didn't deserve the chance to sleep next to someone and be cozied up. Hell I didn't even deserve Symere.

When he came out to me as gay I took it as my chance to confess, but I ran away. I spent years making him believe I was a confidant, a person he could come to since his father wouldn't support him. But I left him and kept away from him till he broke apart.

Rocky told me he stopped talking, calling and hanging out with them. He never left home unless it was for a show and even then, he would cancel often.

I knew exactly what I had to do. I picked up my phone and hovered my finger over Symere's contact.

I finally called him and after a minute or ten he picked up with a sigh.

"Jordan please don't call me, I don't wanna block your number" He said in a shaky voice, as if he had been crying.

I mentally face palmed, knowing I was the reason he was so down. I looked around my rooms and twirled my twists around my index finger, thinking of how to word my apology.

"Look Symere" I said slowly and calmly, "I'm really sorry for what I did, but you have to understand my side of the story".

" Your si- Jordan, you walked away from me when I was vulnerable. I haven't come out to my fans yet cause if I couldn't trust my BEST FRIEND, then who can I trust? " He retorted.

He didn't understand that me not being with him has made me into a guy I don't wanna be. I've isolated myself off of things I caused thinking he never noticed. I've become more aggressive cause I didn't have a best friend to be by my side. I had everything I want but all I need is Symere back.

I think I'm in love with him.

"Hello? " I heard on the other line, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Oh h-hey" I stuttered.

"Are you done? Can I please go to sleep now?" He asked impatiently.

Before I could answer, he cut me off by hanging up. I stared at my phone and felt tears prickling at my eyes as I bit my lip to muffle my cries.

I had just lost my best friend, brother, slime, whatever you wanna call it.

I just lost my love.

I laid my head down onto my pillow and scrambled my body around until I found a good enough sleeping position. I closed my eyes and felt one last tear slide down my cheeks as I fell asleep.

      *Jordan's Dream (Omniscient)*

Jordan opened his eyes to see himself walking with Symere down a sidewalk. Symere looked at him and smiled, showing off his sharp cheekbones and beautiful green braces.

"Where are we going?" Jordan asked, not familiar with the area.

"Well I'm taking you to a park, I just felt like we need to talk"

"Oh" Jordan said, continuing to walk beside him.

They arrived at a park not too long later and Symere guided Jordan to a nearby bench near some Tulips.

"What's up?" Jordan asked, watching Symere sit down on the bench next him.

"Um okay I have a confession to make" Symere sighed.

"Gone head" Jordan chuckled.

"So because you're my brother I want you too know that none of this pertains to you but.......... I'm sorta gay" Symere blurted, throwing his head into his hands.

"Oh" Jordan paused, "W-well that's cool".

"I'm glad I could tell somebody I trusted" Symere laughed.

Jordan was already closeted and had feelings for Symere. And even though he saw the signs, he didn't wanna believe it. That would just amp up his feelings more.

"I- I gotta go" Jordan muttered, getting up to leave.

"J-Jordan I know you're not leaving cause im-"

"No it's not that, I just gotta go" Jordan stuttered.

And with that, Jordan ran out the park and into darkness. His body shook as he closed his eyes to see if he was waking back up.

He wasn't.

He opened his eyes to see himself in an all black suit and brown shoes. He walked through the door in front of him and was met with a funeral taking place.

Symere's family was gathered around in seats as they looked up and pointed at Jordan.

"Did Symere's dad die?" Jordan asked hopefully.

Symere's mom stood up and walked over to Jordan, slapping his cheek with tears streaming down her own.

"How could you be here" She spat, "when you're the reason my son is gone"

Jordan's eyes widened. "But- but how-"

"He hung himself because YOU decided to leave him at his vulnerable point" She cried.

Before Jordan could speak again, she pulled a note out of her dress pocket and forced it into my hands, mumbling for me to "read it".

She walked away and Jordan sat down in an empty row, opening up the note. It was Symere's suicide note.

I always felt like I had someone by my side. My best friend hasn't contacted me in 3 months and I don't know why. I came out as gay and thought he would be by my side, but he left. I've been wanting to die for a long time and now I have a reason to, I can ask God why he chose to make me gay. I love you all and I'm sure you'll see me later.
                                             Sincerely, Symere

Jordan fought the sniffles and tears escaping his lips, he didn't feel like himself anymore. He didn't want to feel anymore.

He couldn't live without Symere.

                            *dream over*

Jordan's P.O.V:

I woke up in cold sweats remembering vividly the dream I just had. My body shook and I cuddled myself into the covers trying to get more rest before I went to go speak to my therapist.

I had to get Symere back.