The Wrong Girl (Lea Michele Fan Fiction)

Jay

I lay next to Jay and feel his shallow breathing on my shoulder as he sleeps. I pull the covers more securely over us to cover our, how can I say, "done-the-deed-naked-bodies". His arm rests over my waist and his face is on my shoulder, I let my left hand play with his hair softly.

It was our one year anniversary yesterday and we went out for dinner and this is the aftermath. I turned 18 last week so we were finally allowed to officially drink. Let me tell you, don't drink on your anniversary, it makes you do things you normally wouldn't.

Things haven't been smooth sailing the last two weeks since Jay told me he's moving to NY. His room is half full of packing boxes and things ready to be packed. It scares me how we'll be so far apart. I'm scared that we'll fall apart. I haven't really told him that, I've told him he should go and do what he really wants to do. The next day he already started sorting things to be packed, three days later and most stuff is already packed.

I've started packing too. Packing to move away and do what I want. And I know that I'm trying to keep things sane and act as if they're fine. They're not. We're moving away from each other. We're falling apart. We're out of love. I'm tired of acting as if it's ok. As if I'm not hurt. But the truth is I'm tired of it, of it all and I just want to scream it out. I can't though. I'm too weak.

I move Jay away from me and lay on my right side, my back to him. I put my arm under the pillow for more support and I let the tears fall.

Things aren't working anymore.

"What's wrong?" I hear Jay sleepily ask.

"Nothing, go back to sleep." I tell him and pull the cover up more. I feel his hand snake over my stomach and make me lay on my back.

"Why are you crying?"

"No reason."

"Don't lie, Lea." He tells me.

I sigh. "We've changed. It's changed. And I don't know what to do." I feel the tears slide down my face as I look at the ceiling.

"I know." He says softly.    

I stayed silent for a few minutes before I decided to get up. I threw on his oversized top and walked to the bathroom. I closed the door and turned the light on. I turn the tap on and splash my face with water. I wipe my face and stare at my reflection. My eyes showed stress and my face looked scared. I take a deep breath. It's not the end of the world.

I walk back to Jay's room quietly and sit down on the bed. He waits there patiently for me, I have my back to him and he touches me softly. Please don't touch me because I don't know how much longer I can keep this together.

"Lea.." He says and I turn my head slightly. "Lea, come on. We'll fix this, we always got through everything together."

I turn around and crawl to him. I stuff my face in his shoulder and cry. I cry for this moment. I cry for what's going to happen. I cry for growing up. I cry for love. I hold onto him like it's our last time together, he feels this and pulls me closer to him.

He kisses my head and we stay together like this for awhile, until I couldn't cry anymore. Until it hurt to even try.

"Promise me we'll spend new years together," he says.

I shake my head. "We can't promise anything anymore," I whisper.

"Let's try," he says.

"We can't."

I think I would had started crying again if I could.

"Then what do you want me to for, Lea? Tell me." He says.

I sharks my head. "I don't know," I say quietly.

"Then let's try."

"Trying won't help, Jay. We're already separating. It's already too late."

"Lea, we're suppose to be getting married."

His words stung but were true. We are suppose to be organizing a wedding. Our wedding. I go silent, debating on what I should do.

I look at Jay, he looks right back at me. I let my fingers caress his face then I look down at my left hand. I take the ring off and give it to him.

"You deserve happiness from someone who truly knows what they want." I whisper to him. He closes his fingers over the ring.

"But I want you, Lea. Can't you see that? After everything we've been through and you're giving up now because of this? Because we're going to different colleges? Lea, if I didn't want you then you wouldn't be here and I wouldn't love you. But you are here and I do love you, more than anything. Don't do this." He pleads. His eyes go watery and his bottom lip slightly quivers. I look away quickly, knowing I'll start crying if he does.

"I do love you, and I know I'm here because we're together. But there are just times in our lives where the things we love the most have to be let go." I look down. "We have to let go."

Jay started bawling. He cries and keeps saying no. He grabs me by my shoulders and forces me to face him.

"No. I'm not giving up. We are not giving up. God damn it, Lea! Why can't you see how much I've done for you? This is basically your home now because you can't stand to live with your mother. How you always need me because you know I'll listen, how I give you support. All you had to do was marry me, Lea. That's all. You don't have to have a great job because I'm here with you to support us with money. I don't care about looks Lea, even right now you look so beautiful. Why can't you see how much I love you and why throw all this away just over nothing?"

I start to cry because it's true. All of it.

I put my hands at the back of his head and pull him close. I let myself breathe in his scent as I put my forehead on his neck. His hands rest on my lower back, he pulls me towards him and he kisses me all over apart from my lips. I move my head and I kiss him, he kisses me back fiercely. He holds the back of my head and lays me down, he kisses my neck and one hand is on my hip and the other is behind my back, holding me in place.   

I keep kissing him for what seems like months but honestly, I just want to savor everything before I leave. For good. I pull away and catch my breath. I stand up and find a pair of my pants.

"What are you doing?" He asks.

"I have to go, I can't be here." I say and I pack al my clothes in a bag. I climb on the bed and kiss him.

"I love you but I can't stay."

He grabs my hand. "Don't leave me."

I kiss him again. "I'll see you around. Good luck. You'll be great."

I gave him one last glance before I picked up my stuff and walked out the room. And that would be the last time I was ever there, the last time we ever kissed, held hands, felt his love.

I did the one thing I didn't regret and I went home to my mother. I wasn't upset that I left because it was bound to happen, I wasn't upset that I left it as the way I did or that I never answered his texts or calls. I disappeared out of his life and I went on with mine.

And I was actually happy.

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Cloudybubbles here! Sorry for the wait! But here's the new chapter and I hope you enjoy. This story only has a few more chapters to go before it is done. I'm thinking about making a sequel, what are your thoughts?? Haha please comment them or inbox!! Anyways, Merry Christmas! Fan, vote, comment! I love you all!!!