Como Sweet Como

Chapter Three: En Route to Home

"So why are you back in Italy?" Elio adjusts the rear view mirror of his beat down Subaru and shifts the car into reverse, backing out of  his parking spot. 

"It's kind of a long story," I respond, attempting to avoid discussion about my situation. I pull up the address of Summer's apartment on my phone and punch it into Elio's GPS. It estimates that the drive will take nearly an hour and I instantly regret not taking a cab. This is going to be the most awkward fifty-eight minutes of my life. 

"Well we do have an hour drive ahead of us, but I guess we can spend it in awkward silence instead" he says, practically reading my mind. I punch his arm softly and let out a soft laugh. 

"Okay, fine! You remember my parents, right?"

"Of course I do, Colette, I don't have amnesia," he remarks jokingly. "How are they by the way? I think my mom stopped hearing from you guys a few months after you left."

"Yeah, things got busy when we got back. But they're doing well. I think." He looks at me with one eyebrow raised. "I'm sort of ignoring them." 

"Because..."

I sigh and turn my head towards the window so as to avoid eye contact as I unwillingly answer his question. "Because I dropped out of law school and kinda fled the country. Anyways, what have you been up to?" My attempt to change the topic as fast as possible is shot down by the expression on Elio's face alone. I can see it in my peripheral vision and I know I am about to be bombarded with questions, but I stop him before he can ask them. 

"Okay stop. Don't give me that look. My parents are already livid. I don't need another person judging me right now." 

"I'm not judging you," he says, raising one hand off the wheel in his defense. "I guess I'm just surprised. I thought that law was always the plan for you. Well, your parents' plan for you... I guess." 

"Yeah, yeah I know. They're freaking out right now, but can we talk about something else? I don't really feel like discussing the mess that is my life right now." 

"No, yeah of course." Elio reverts his attention back to the road as I revert mine to the window. I lower it and feel the familiar warm Italian breeze turn into intense wind as we merge onto the highway. The wind blows through my hair and hits my face in the most incredible way. 

I raise my voice over the sound of wind rippling through the window. "So why were you at the airport?"

"I was visiting my mom in Rome." He notices my blank expression and clarifies. "My dad passed away two years ago so I try to visit her as much as possible." Guilt fills my heart and overflows through the veins, not only because I wasn't there to comfort him as he dealt with the loss of his father, but because I was ignorant to the fact that he had lost him in the first place. 

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Elio," I stuttered. "I had no idea."

"How would you?" I expect to see the glow disappear from his face but when I look up he's still smiling.

***

We spend the rest of the drive without speaking, allowing the sound of Paul McCartney's voice and Elio's thumbs drumming against the steering wheel to fill the space for us. It's awkward, but not as awkward as I expected. It's the kind of silence that conveys more thoughts than words themselves.  

After ten minutes of driving down a windy road through the countryside, we finally pull up to a very familiar rustic style home. Elio parks the car right beside a large gate that stands before the house. He turns off the engine and gets out of the car to help me with my luggage. 

"Thank you for the ride, Elio. It really means a lot to me," I tell him as he lifts my suitcase out of the trunk with ease. My eyes wander towards his arms and take in the contraction of his muscles as he lifts my bags. I could swear these muscles were nonexistent nine years ago. 

"Colette, relax, it was on my way home."

I shoot Summer a quick text to let her know I'm outside.

"It was still very nice of you. Here," I pull out my wallet from my backpack.

"No way, I'm not accepting that," he argues.

"But-"

"Come on, Cole. It's me!" His words penetrate me. They leave his lips effortlessly, as if they were the most natural sounds to slip off of them. As if the last nine years never happened. Guilt bubbles in the pit of my stomach.

"I know but it feels wrong to not repay you somehow."

"You know what, you can repay me by getting gelato with me this weekend. I'll even let you pay. Here, hand me your phone."

My body reacts before my mind and before I can even question why he would want my phone, I am handing it over to him. Leaning against his car, he starts entering his phone number into my contact list and I realize that his number must've changed. Of all the times my thumb hovered over his name on my phone, I never once considered that it wasn't even his number anymore. How many times had I told myself that Elio was just a phone call away, when he literally wasn't?  

"Please tell me you don't still put gummy worms on your gelato?" His eyes light up and I know he's pleasantly surprised that I remember. 

"Of course I do. It's not gelato without them" He winks and hands me my phone back. Yep, same old Elio. Cheeky as ever. It fills me with warmth to know that while most things change, some things don't. I'm glad that Elio seems to fall under 'some things'.

"Okay, well. I'll see you this weekend then."

"I'll see you," he responds, shutting the trunk and making his way back to the driver's seat. I wave as he drives off, keeping my eyes on the Subaru until it's out of sight before turning to head up the cobblestone steps. Just as I am about to tuck my phone into my back pocket, I notice the name Elio entered as his new contact: Elio (but nine years later)

I am a geyser of ice cold guilt.