english essays ↔ m.c

I

        Melinda gripped her coat tighter. She was careful not to show any skin. Careful not to provoke anyone. Careful with everything she did now. The snow fell down onto the dirty ground almost angelically. Her breath came out in puffs of fog. Sighing she continued to walk ignoring anyone in her way. She passed a bakery, and there IT was. She froze. He wouldn't notice her. He couldn't she was basically invisible. But he noticed her. His eyes locked with hers, and she wanted to run and run until there was no where else to run. But her legs were frozen.

        "Melissa right?" She swallowed. She averted her eyes, and began to walk. Her legs felt like they were filled with led. She heard his footsteps. He felt his eyes tracing her, looking for any skin. Nothing. There was none. She was wearing mittens, loose jeans, and a long sleeved black shirt with her black ratty coat on top. His foot steps seemed closer. She began to run. She ran, and ran until she was out of breath and she knew she lost him. She slowed to a jog, no longer sprinting her body relaxed. She couldn't think about it. She blocked it out. 

        She entered through the office. She tried to say good morning to the nurse as she passed the nurses office but no words seemed to come out. She didn't try again. There was no use in trying something you already failed at. She headed for her locker. 

        "Oh! Melinda!" She heard Grace's voice. Melinda quickly put her stuff in her locker before, taking out a book and a pen. She sped walk towards study hall, ducking under outstretched arms, and dodging her fellow peers. Invisible, it's the only word that could describe her. The only word that could convey how she felt with all it's relics and faults. Invisible, see through, not there. She thought maybe she wasn't real. A made up version of she was really supposed to be, a prototype. 

        She entered the library. Her social studies teacher, Mr. Steel took attendance. She began to read. But she couldn't focus. The vulgar memories interrupted her train of thought. Interrupted her hearts beating. Interrupted the way her blood ran through her body.She stared at the page. She had the urge to cry, but no tears came. No tears fell. She was filled with a silent grief. She mourned her purity. Mourned the loss of her virginity. She was filled with such a pain, there was no word that she knew that could describe it. Her sadness ran deep and hard, She wanted it back. Wanted to forget that night. Wanted to forget the way the Earth press against her back. The way he hurt her over and over again, until there was nothing else to hurt. Wanted to forget his smirk and the way his eyes stared at her wrangled body. She wanted to be happy again. 

        She wondered why so many girls wanted to be with IT. It was a horrible being. IT shouldn't be praised, and be called hot. IT should be called dangerous. 

        Melinda tried to force herself to read again.