Snapping at Crocs

Chapter 11

A scuffle of movement from outside our tent jerks me awake. Why is someone up in the middle of the night? I turn over in my sleeping bag and shuffle my arm free. I reach over towards Robert only for my hand to fall flat on a cushioned surface, instead of his shoulder as expected. I open my eyes and hope that I was simply out of arm's reach from him. However Robert is nowhere to be found.

Despite my grogginess, I sit up and check for signs that anything else is going on. I hope that at least Robert took Wes with him to wherever he disappeared, but Wes is sleeping soundly just five feet away. I become more alert as my concern grows.

I crawl towards the entrance of the tent and zip open one of the flaps partially. After making sure the coast is clear, I exit the tent as quietly as possible.

My bare feet hit the somewhat rocky ground and I regretfully ignored the idea to take extra time to put on my shoes.

Luckily, I only need to walk five feet until I spot the silhouette of a man and a camera over by the rock on the hill overlooking the water. Walking closer, my suspicion that it is Robert is confirmed.

"Hey, why did you leave the tent?" I ask, projecting slightly to make my presence known.

At the sound of my voice, Robert jerks around. He turns his attention back to setting up his camera just as quickly as he had taken it away once he knows it's just me. He doesn't respond to my question until everything is settled.

"Oh uh. Night photo opportunities…."

My eyebrows involuntarily crinkle together from his response. No matter how beautiful pictures could be during the night, you don't go out alone. If Wes found out, he would be furious. And I don't mean in his goofy 'wow I'm upset' way, I mean full on 'mama bear protecting her cub' mode.

I sit cross legged next to Robert to keep him company and watch sleepily as his pale hair moves with the soft night breeze. His eyes, though squinting into his trusty camera at a world he loves, have lost their usual gleam. I frown at his lack of enthusiasm.

My half bare legs, though once comfortable under my sleeping bag, now feel cool. I avert my gaze from Robert and find goosebumps covering my bare skin. I pull my knees up off of the ground and closer to my chest to conserve heat.

Looking back at Robert, I realize he is wearing long cargo pants and almost giggle at the revelation that I've never seen him wear something that covers his knees. However the moment is too serene to ruin with laughter so I conceal it.

A few more minutes go by in quiet before I realize Robert's breathing has become shaky. I shift my body to face him but his face is right up against the camera. A hand is propped up, blocking his face from my view, but I can tell he's crying. Very softly.

I crawl a bit closer to him, and wrap my arm around his waist. His arm falls from the camera like dead weight and he lets himself be pulled to me.

"Hey, it's okay, sweetie," I whisper in his ear and rub circles on his back. His sobs are quiet but I can feel his rapid breathing. I try to steady him. "Breathe…. Breathe."

Slowly, the shaking of his body calms down as his breaths become less labored. I wait a few minutes, feeling comfortable in holding him, before slowly backing away.

He slouches as if to shield me from seeing his face once I release him. I place a reassuring hand on his arm and wait for him to straighten up on his own. Only when Robert is sitting regularly do I address him.

"Hey, Robert? Do you want to talk about it?"

Robert's gaze raises up to meet mine and I can't help but feel sad as well. The normally ecstatic guy in front of me has turned into a devastated mess. I just want to hold him forever.