Lily |18+ [Paraíso, #1]

two

|J U L I A|

I WRING MY HANDS TOGETHER on my lap. To say I'm nervous is a freaking understatement. I'm terrified. Not even my pacing around the room can calm my nerves down.

I can't believe I'm going through with this. I should have handed in my resignation letter to the congressman the moment I left the correctional facility. That's the rational thing to do, not tutor someone who holds a grudge against me. That too an ex-con, for Christ's sake.

An ex-con I have slept with before, at that.

Dammit, Julia. You just have the worst luck when it comes to finding jobs.

I'm not a fan of surprises because as a rule, they usually end up being something you dread the most. And, yes, tutoring your past hook up may not sound like that a huge deal but it is when you have bad blood with your said past hook up.

Surely, he couldn't have been serious about having his grandfather phase me out and ask him to hire another tutor. I would've gotten a call from the congressman informing me that my services were no longer needed.

I did get a call from the congressman but it was not because of the termination of my contract. He just said that we needed to go over some things before I resumed my sessions with Jake. Or maybe it was a cover up. Maybe he just called me here so that he can fire me in person.

I'm so close to having an anxiety attack, even if I've never had one before. My heart is racing, my palms feel sweaty and I feel an odd discomfort in my belly.

I'm so torn up inside. On one hand, I'm wondering why I even want to keep this job when the guy in question hates me. And on the other, is the reality of my current financial status. I've got a lot of debt that needs to be paid, not to mention my monthly upkeep. Bills need to be paid and I can't do that without a steady-paying job.

Jake was right. I should be a practicing lawyer by now. I have a law degree and I even went to graduate school for that shit but as always there's that moment of reckoning in your life when you realize that you've wasted seven years of your life studying for something that you're not passionate about.

Dad had had a fit when I announced that I was dropping my major and instead focused on getting my etiquette training certification. Which was the first step in saving up money so that I can enroll myself in a classical music course. It's always been my dream to play the cello in an orchestra.

Jake used to play the cello too. Although he always chose to do renditions of the pieces the teacher made us do. It got him into a lot of trouble and it extended to me by default, since I was his partner.

He'd find a way to get us out of detention, he always did, and he'd race me to the flower fields, where we would-

Jesus. I'm not going down this road again.

It's bad enough I fell for his charm two years ago. I'd gone to Fitzy's specifically to drink my weekend away and he'd been there. I had gone over to him that night, intending only to say Hi and somehow his big hand had found its way under my skirt, and his hot mouth whispered about how it was time for us to get a car home or everyone was going to watch him fuck me right on top of the table.