03 ☆ worth

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it's raining today.

i used to love the rain.

i'd sit in my balcony with a plate of pakoras and some coffee and listen to kodaline.

i used to love the feeling of the rain drops on my skin. it felt like i were being washed of all the sins i'd committed and it always felt like a fresh start afterward.

but today, it doesn't feel anything.

i don't feel anything.

days like these i wonder what would have happened if i'd never met you at all.

i feel life would have been so much easier without you.

but then i think, no.

that easier life wouldn't have given me the peace and happiness that only you were able to give.

just being near you felt like i'd stepped in an alternate universe where everything was fine, we were fine.

you were an enigma.

you had my heart and i had yours.

you made me the happiest man in the world just by touching my hand, holding me close, being near me.

but days like these i wonder if that small amount of time spent with you was worth all the hardships that came afterward.

whether it really was worth the last 3 years that i spent in emptiness.

and every day like this, i think to myself, yes. yes, it was worth all of the pain and heartbreak.

you were worth all of that.

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